Captivated
by Mandarina Ballerina
Summary: Life as a 7th year in Hogwarts isn't so bad, but when you add in the factors of a rising threat, desperation and 'average' teenage drama, life has some interesting twists. The story will be in different points of views, such as Lily, James, Sirius, etc
1. Trial and Error

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot and the characters that you don't recognize.  This is the only time I'm going to put the disclaimer up, because it's redundant and annoying if it's there in every chapter.

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Chapter One: Trial and Error

Lily sighed as she agitatedly brushed her auburn locks away from her face.  "I can't _believe_ him!" she said, stomping into her dormitory.

Lily's roommates, Lexi Lieberman, Lana Davidson and Emily Grant all turned and looked at each other, following Lily into their dorm.

"Lily-" started Lexi.

"No, I'm serious!  He's Head Boy this year, and he still thinks that he has the right to just, ugh!" said Lily, grunting in frustration, not bothering to finish her sentence.

"Lil, look.  We know that James has never been the most wonderful person all of time, but he _is_ a nice guy," said Emily.

"I know, but is it honestly necessary to curse someone who annoys him?  'Just because'?  I mean, I'm not very fond of Snape, but I don't think that it was right for Potter to entirely cover Snape with bat droppings.  After that, he just laughs it off with his posse and leaves as if nothing's happened," said Lily.

"Hey!  My boyfriend isn't a part of some 'posse'," said Lana, referring to Remus Lupin.  He had asked her out in the middle of June and they saw a lot of each other during the summer holiday.

"I know, I'm sorry.  But Remus is different from Black and Potter.  _Completely_ different," said Lily.  She sat on her bed and flicked her wand.  Her trunk sprang open and all of her possessions began to unpack themselves and go into their proper drawers.

"Lil, if you're going to spend the rest of the year complaining about James, I'm going to have to hex you.  If you haven't noticed, James has definitely changed since 6th year.  He isn't nearly as cocky or show offy compared to what we're used to.  And besides, both of you are going to have to work together for Head Student duties. If you're going to be at each other's throats all of the time, nothing will ever be done," reasoned Lexi.

"Besides, it's only our first day back.  Tons of things can happen," said Emily.

Lily snorted.  "Exactly."

Lana rolled her eyes and sighed.  "Lil, I'm with Lex on this.  You're going to have to give James a chance this year!  Every single year, you've practically ignored him.  He was trying really hard to be nice at the end of last year, and I think that it's mostly just for you.  Even you have to admit that the only person that he hexes now is Snape, and personally, I could care less.  Snape hexes James and Sirius back, so in a sense, it would only be fair."

"Okay, fine, fine, fine.  I'll give Potter the benefit of the doubt this year, but don't think that I'll suddenly be buddy-buddy with him or anything like that," said Lily.

"Good, we don't expect you to anyway," shrugged Emily.  "Just…how do I put this?  Co-exist with him _peacefully_."

"Still venting about James, are we?" asked Juno, Lana's pet shape shifter.  She stepped out of Lana's bag and padded around on her bed, currently in the form of a retriever puppy.  

Lana is in possession of a shape shifter, a rare creature that is hard to come by and quite costly.  General characteristics of shape shifters are that they are able to communicate with people and other animals.  All of their forms, which can be anything except for human beings, always have the same coloring and markings as the shifter's natural form.

"What else would she be doing?" said Lexi sarcastically.

Lily grunted.  "Whatever.  I'm going to bed.  Good night, everyone."

"Night, Lil," responded Emily.

*          *          *

"Good morning!  How is everyone this lovely September morning?" asked Sirius, sitting down at the Gryffindor table for breakfast.

"Grumpy, tired, and wondering how I woke up in the first place," muttered Remus.__

James pushed a pot of tea towards him.  "You look like you need all the caffeine you could get."

"Thanks," said Remus, pouring a nice big cup.

"Has McGonagall handed out the schedules yet?" asked Peter, glancing up at the Head table.

"No.  But she should start doing that in a couple of minutes," said Remus.

"Excellent.  That gives me about 5 minutes to fully let the fact that I'm Head Boy sink in," said James, flashing the table his most charming smile.

"I still can't comprehend how you got that badge.  Especially with that track record of yours," said Peter, shaking his head.

"Aw, come off it, Pete.  I do have my good sides, you know," said James.

"Good morning, boys.  I trust that you will all contribute to making this an uneventful year?" said Professor McGonagall, coming around with the term's timetables.  She gave an especially harsh look at Sirius, who grinned sheepishly and held up his hands in defense.

"I swear!  It'll never happen again!  Honestly!" he said sincerely.

McGonagall pressed her lips into a thin line and handed out everyone's respective timetables.  "Another stunt like that will land you out of Hogwarts so fast, you won't be able to say 'Quidditch,' Mr. Black."

Last year, Sirius attempted to scare the living daylights out of Severus Snape by using Remus's lycanthropy to his advantage.  To make the long story short, things got completely out of hand and several lives could have been lost before James realized what was going on and stopped it.  Sirius had been kept under a close watch by the faculty and was on probation for the rest of the year.

"Alright, what does everyone have today?  I only have three classes," said Sirius, looking over his timetable at everyone else.

"N.E.W.T. level Potions first, then two free periods, then N.E.W.T. level Transfiguration, lunch, and N.E.W.T. level Defense Against the Dark Arts at the very end of the day," said Remus.

"Me too," said James, leaning back in his seat.

"I knew that, we all have the same schedules.  What about you, Wormtail?" asked Sirius.

"Arithmancy and then two free periods, then Herbology, lunch, and then Ancient Runes at the very end of the day.  It seems like we have all of our free periods together," said Peter.

"Prongs.  Snap out of it," said Sirius, snapping his fingers in front of James.

James was staring down the table at the group of 7th year Gryffindor girls, longing to be sitting with them.

"Huh?  Oh, right," said James.

"Do you want me to tell Lana to put in a good word for you?" asked Remus.

"No, no, it's okay.  This is something that I need to do on my own," said James, stealing one more glance at Lily.

"What you need, my friend, is a nice big helping of kippers and toast," said Sirius, seizing James's plate and loading it up.

"Excellent.  Thanks, mate," said James.

* * *

Eve Blandus, the most deceiving and cunning of her Slytherin peers, was unfortunately one of the members of the N.E.W.T. level Potions class.  Eve was reared by a father who barely cared for her and a mother who doted on her.  A result of the contradicting methods of parenting, Eve found amusement in the misfortune of others and found it her duty to inflict pain and worry on whomever she saw fit.  Always scheming, Eve was never one to be trusted.  Some could compare Eve to a Veela—beautiful, yet dangerous when provoked.

"Pity," murmured Eve.  She raised her gray eyes.  "It's a pity, Black, that your wand has not been snapped in two."

"It's also a pity that we must put up with your usual ineffective taunting, Blandus," responded Sirius.

"At least I'm not a threat to the population of this school," purred Eve.

"Yet you are a poison that tends to inhabit the minds of younger students who are unaware of the consequences of consorting with the likes of you," said Sirius.

Eve and Sirius glared at each other.  James was spared the task of half-heartedly trying to break the tension between the two when Professor Inficio, the Potions Master arrived.

Inficio strode into the corridor and past the students, into the empty dungeon where the class is held.  He wasted no time in announcing what the day's lesson entailed as his students filed into his classroom and took their seats.

"In today's class, you will be making an Awareness Potion.  This potion makes the drinker's senses magnify and keeps the drinker on his or her guard against whatever may be lurking.  I expect all of you to complete this task for the rest of the period," said Professor Inficio.

"I'm surprised that he's not as moody as he normally is," said Lexi to Lily, as they paired up.

"Yeah, I know.  It's actually kind of unsettling," said Lily, as she took out the needed potion ingredients.

"I heard that Inficio was warned to be more lenient towards to entire school or else he'll lose his position as the Head of Slytherin," whispered Sirius, bending forward.

James inwardly groaned.  He didn't want to have Lily's attention brought to him because he knew how she thought he was the most idiotic person in the world.

"Really?  I thought that he had finally found some woman who must've been stupid, yet kind enough to give him a chance," said Remus.

Lily snorted.  "I'd be surprised if Inficio was actually capable of romantic feelings, let alone feelings, aside from sadism, hate, and cruelty."

"I doubt that that's possible," snickered James, relieved that she wasn't giving him the cold shoulder.  Perhaps her dorm mates spoke about him in a good way.  James quickly pushed aside these thoughts because of the chance that they didn't talk about him at all, or that Lily was just in a remarkably good mood today.

"Me too, although it would be a bit strange for Inficio to be getting a warning from the school governors, when his behavior towards all non-Slytherin students has been biased and harsh since his employment," said Lexi.

"Maybe they finally got enough complaints to actually make a stand against Inficio," shrugged Remus, chopping up some sphinx eyes.

"I highly doubt that.  How long has he been Potions Master here?  Ten?  Eight?  Nine years?  The governors have had more than enough time to process this information," said Lily.

"Whatever the reason may be, I guess we'll never know," said James.

"Anyway, how was everyone's summer?  Anyone go anywhere interesting?" asked Sirius, changing the topic to a more pleasant one.

"Well, the family and I visited Italy over the summer.  My parents fell in love with Venice so much that they're planning on buying property there," said Lily.

"Really?  I have several cousins in Venice, although the majority of my mother's family is based in Florence," said James.

"Do you speak any Italian?" asked Lexi.

James nodded.  "I'm pretty fluent, but only after a while.  I sort of need to have my memory jogged every so often.  Visiting family or constantly having relatives over helps."

"Is that cousin of yours still in possession of my dress robes?" asked Sirius.

James rolled his eyes.  "Yes.  Natalia's completely smitten with you.  Every time we see one another, she never hesitates to ask about you."

Noticing everyone's puzzled expressions, James quickly explained.  "The last time we had a family reunion, my parents let me bring Sirius along for company.  Natalia, my cousin, practically stripped him of his robes when she saw him.  She wouldn't leave us alone for the remainder of the reunion."

"Sounds like something that I would do," grinned Lexi.  "I meant, following a gorgeous guy around as long as possible."

Sirius rolled his eyes while the only other Gryffindors in the class shared a laugh.

*          *          *

James wrapped his cloak around him more tightly as he stared across the surface of the lake.  He had decided to take a walk around the grounds to clear his head and try to organize his thoughts.  Sitting by the lake had always helped him serve this purpose.  The gentle sound of water crashing against the sand banks put James at ease and allowed him a chance to unwind.

James's mind was filled with thoughts of uncertainty—the safety or lack thereof of his family, the usual anxiety about marks in school, and a new feeling that James was unaccustomed too—the growing anxiety and need to know Lily more intimately.

When James had seen Lily step onto Platform 9 ¾ the day before, his breath had caught in his chest.  He always knew that Lily was pretty, but seeing her this time made him feel as though he was seeing her with new eyes.  Maybe it was just a result of his hormones going into overdrive, or maybe it was because he hadn't seen her in a while.  James sighed.  He had to think of a clever way to make Lily realize that he isn't the egotistical prat that she thinks he is.  He needs to show her the real James Potter.

James exasperatedly ran a hand through his jet-black messy hair, an action that is generally repeated during times of deep thinking, nervousness, or agitation.  If he didn't redeem himself in her eyes soon, there'd be little chance that they would ever end up as a couple, let alone one that would stay together post-graduation.

~          *          ~

About half an hour after dinner, Lily had decided to go out for a walk as well.  She needed to release some pent up energy that she didn't know that she had, and decided to relieve it by transforming into her Animagus form—a black panther with bright green eyes.  Over the summer, Lily thought that it would be helpful for her if she were able to take on an Animagus form if she was to become an Auror.  Having two physical forms would be very accommodating if she was to get herself in a vulnerable situation.

After freely running about the grounds, Lily changed back into her human form and took a walk.  She was able to pick out a lone figure on the opposite banks of the lake.  Whoever it was appeared to be in deep thought as he or she skipped stones in the water, watching the ripples that traveled away from the source of disruption in the calm waters of the lake.

Lily let her curiosity get the better of her and walked around the lake to figure out whom exactly this mystery character was.

~          *          ~

"May I join you?" asked a soft voice.

Startled, James looked up to see Lily Evans timidly standing behind him.

"Yeah, of course," he said, gesturing towards the rock next to him.  "I come out here to think every now and then."  James's mind was reeling.  Lily was actually talking to him.  She made the first move.  _Okay, keep it cool_, thought James.

"About what?" asked Lily, turning her emerald gaze on him.

James shrugged.  "Usually just things that concern me or my friends.  Basically anything that just tickles my fancy."  He couldn't believe that Lily was actually giving him the time of day.

"I'm actually guilty of doing that too.  I find that taking long walks around the castle and/or the grounds helps me to stay level headed and calm.  It's therapeutic in its own way," confessed Lily.

"Yeah, I know exactly what you mean.  It's like just being able to take the time out to put things into perspective makes everything seem less intimidating.  I'm probably not making any sense to you," muttered James.

"No, no, I have the same feeling as you.  It's like organizing my thoughts makes everything not seem so scary in a bizarre way," said Lily.  "The reality of the world isn't as harsh and bitter when you take the time to think about it."

James nodded, glad that someone else understood the importance of these ventures about the grounds.  A bubble of happiness rose inside him at discovering one of Lily's favorite pastimes, which just happened to be one of his own.

"So what's your story?" asked James, looking at Lily.

"I'm sorry?" asked Lily.

"I mean, what brings you out here tonight?" asked James.

"Oh," said Lily, leaning back on her elbows.  "I just needed to release some pent up energy that's been collecting inside of me for quite some time.  Plus, I wanted to test my capabilities as a feline," grinned Lily.

It was James's turn to be confused by this statement.  "I'm sorry, I'm not following you."

"Well, over the summer, I took an Animagus course at the Ministry.  I thought that it would be beneficial for me if I was to become an Auror," said Lily.

James's face lit up.  "You're an Animagus too?  What do you turn into?"

"A panther," said Lily.

"Go on, then.  Let me see you," said James.

"Alright," agreed Lily.

With a faint 'pop', Lily's body was replaced with that of a large, fully grown panther with Lily's signature bright green eyes.

James tentatively reached out a hand and started stroking the panther's fur.  He couldn't help but think that this is what Lily's hair must feel like—soft and silky.  He retracted his hand and Lily turned back to her normal state.

"That's an interesting animal to turn into," observed James.

"What do you mean?" asked Lily.

"Well, a person's animal form says a lot about their character.  I guess that being a panther means that you're always on guard and capable of destructive actions, but beautiful, graceful and elegant at the same time," said James.

"Come on, Potter.  You make me sound as though I've never done a bad thing in my entire life," laughed Lily.  "God knows that I've had my fair share of trouble making in the past and present."

"Is the Great Lily Evans actually confessing to mischief?" asked James, grinning.

Lily scowled.  "Don't pretend to know me.  Besides, I've done more things than you would imagine," she muttered.

James stayed silent and was relieved to see that Lily wasn't annoyed with him for 'pretending to know her'.

He dared a glance at Lily and saw that she was completely at peace.  Her eyes were closed and her long red hair was billowing about her as a result of the wind.  For a moment, James was able to see the real Lily, the unguarded Lily.

James respected her for being able to balance everything in her life—socially, academically, and her family matters.  He knew that Lily had a sister who didn't care much for her, but he also knew that she had parents who loved her dearly, yet didn't show it in the best way.  They were always busy with work, so they rarely spent time at home.  Frankly, he could care less if Lily had a sister or not because he knew that Petunia's feelings towards Lily wouldn't scathe her in the least.  Most people would think that Lily is a spoiled brat because of her parents' economical and social situations in the upper class society of Muggle London, and she was well aware of that.  She held her head high and lived with the motto that 'if people don't take the time to know me and look past the labels, then they're not worth knowing at all'.  James inwardly snorted at the irony of their situation and Lily's motto.

James's eyes swept over Lily.  She wasn't like most girls who are delicate and look like they should be treated like glass that would break at a single touch.  While Lily was naturally slender, he knew that she was a strong person, physically and emotionally.  He's seen the way Lily can single handedly pin some of the Ravenclaw guys down to the ground, with little to no effort.  She's actually remarkably strong for someone her size…

James was brought back to reality when Lily spoke.

"I'm guessing that you want to know what being a stag can say about you," she guessed.

James shrugged indifferently.  "Not really, but I'm interested to see what you have to say about it."

Back in 5th year, Lily and the rest of the Gryffindor girls in her year found out what James, Sirius and Peter were doing for Remus.  They were all intelligent enough to figure out that Remus was a werewolf on their own, but they never knew about the Marauders' monthly adventures.  Lily, being one of the Gryffindor Prefects then, had caught James, Sirius and Peter as they attempted to sneak out to the Whomping Willow.  They confessed their story to her, and surprisingly, she let them go.

"All right," said Lily.  "Your Animagus form makes it clear that you're a leader, and you won't settle for less.  A stag is the leader of a pack, and he cares for everyone in it.  He always makes sure that the pack is safe.  That just means that you're always looking out for Sirius, Remus and Peter, and that you care about them more than you'd like people to know.  It also means that you have some territorial problems, especially when someone other than you is taking an interest to something that you consider as yours.  Stags are generally cocksure as well, but of course, that's _nothing_ like you," finished Lily, the corners of her mouth twitching.

"I guess that that's a pretty good way of putting it," said James, nodding thoughtfully and glossing over her sarcasm.  "Anyway, what do you say about checking out this Head's lounge?  Have you visited it yet?"

"The Head Boy and Head Girl study?  No, not yet.  I intended to go sometime this weekend, though," said Lily.

"Well, there's no better time than now.  According to my watch, we still have roughly half an hour before we're expected to be back at the tower," said James, standing up.  He extended his hand to Lily.

Lily got up, ignoring his hand.  James awkwardly let it fall back to his side.

"Anyway, I guess there's no harm in going now.  We could probably make some changes to it if the study turns out to be horribly decorated and nowhere near our expectations," said Lily.

"I highly doubt that that will be the case, but whatever floats your boat, my dear," said James.

"Do you know where it is?" asked Lily.

"The lounge always moves to accommodate the Head Students.  Since we're both Gryffindors, I'm guessing that it will be relatively close to the Tower," said James.

Lily nodded.  "I know that the password is 'congratulations'.  Apart from the existence of the lounge, that's all that I know about it."

"Well then our knowledge put together shouldn't make locating the lounge a problem at all, eh?" said James.

"I suppose," said Lily.

"I don't mean to be rude or anything, but how come, all of a sudden, you're giving me the time of day?  I thought that you thought me to be some crude arrogant bloke," confessed James.

"Well, I decided to actually follow my motto and give you a chance.  It's only fair.  Besides, we're going to have to work together this year.  We might as well start the year off on a good foot," said Lily.

James nodded, accepting her answer.

"I'm excited for this year.  Do you think that we should plan any special social events?" said Lily, successfully ending the awkward silence before it even began.

"I'm quite partial to one, so I guess so.  Which would you prefer?  A Halloween party or a Yule ball?" asked James.

"Either one would be fine for me, so long as there's a party.  A Halloween party has its advantages with the prospect of outrageous costumes, but the Yule ball would have better themes.  It would also give us the advantage of having more time to prep for it," said Lily.

"Then a Yule ball it is," said James.

"We should probably ask Dumbledore for permission, first," said Lily.

"Any balls or the sort are always left up to the Head Students.  As long as it can be supported with the budget given to us, then it's perfectly acceptable," said James.  "Here we are," he said, stopping in front of a painting of the Three Graces.

"Hello," said Lily timidly, peering at each grace.

"Hello," said one of the graces, in a soft and echoing voice.  "I gather that you two are this year's Head Students?"

"That we are," confirmed James, bowing his head a little.

"What a lovely pair, don't you think?" asked one of the graces, addressing her sisters.

"I couldn't have asked for a more charming couple," said another.

All of their voices were soft, echoing and sounded like bells.

"Oh, we're not a couple," said Lily, glancing at James.

"Oh, but that you are, dear child.  You may not realize it yet because of past mutiny, but only time and desperation will open your eyes," said a grace.

"I'm sorry, but you _must_ ignore Euphrosyne.  She finds that funny in a way," apologized a grace.

"That's quite all right.  I believe that we haven't introduced ourselves.  I'm Lily Evans, and this is my friend James Potter.  We're both Gryffindors," said Lily, clearing her throat.

"Lovely.  I'm Thalia, and these are my sister Graces, Aglaia and Euphrosyne," said Thalia, the first grace that addressed us.  "Password, please?"

"Congratulations," announced James.

"And the same to you," said Aglaia, as the portrait swung forward.  "We hope that you find the study accommodating and to your tastes.  Professor Dumbledore said that you two would most likely be quite pleased with the turnout."

"Thank you.  I assure you, we will," said Lily.

James held out his hand, gesturing for Lily to step into the study first.

"Well, this isn't quite what I expected," said Lily, glancing about her.

James shrugged indifferently.  "It's nice."

Lily spun on her heel to face him.  "Nice?  This room is gorgeous!"

"I've had a bit of a warning.  After all, Christian _was_ Head Boy in his year," said James.

"Oh, right, I forgot," said Lily.

Christian is James's older brother by two years.  According to Lana, who is James's neighbor and longtime friend, James is the spitting image of Christian, except for the fact that Christian's eyes are blue instead of James's hazel.

The study of the suite was decorated with all of the House colors.  The walls were painted dark red and the Persian rug covering the hardwood floors was the same color, with gold mixed in.  The couches, armchairs and ottomans were either royal blue or forest green, with gold or silver throw pillows, respectively.  The drapes covering the windows were a rich gold in color, with red threads woven into it.  The lamps that were spread throughout the study had a yellow base with a black shade.

"You would think that there are 10 Head Students with all of this space and furniture," said Lily.  "The question is, should we tell the others where this is and what the password is?"

"It's tempting, but I'd rather not since this is the only room in the castle where either of us could be left utterly alone," said James.

"To the normal student, yes.  But to you and your friends, I highly doubt that.  You do, after all, have the Marauders Map," pointed out Lily.

"Oh right, the map.  Well then I think that we should just let them figure out where the lounge is for themselves," said James, walking towards one of the doors.  "Now Christian said something about a bathroom…"

"Oh!  There are bedrooms!" said Lily, peeking into one of the rooms.

"It is for your use, should you decide to live in here, rather than the dormitories at Gryffindor Tower," said a voice, causing Lily to jump.

"Sorry Professor, I didn't see you there or hear you come in," said Lily, turning around with her wand out.

Dumbledore chuckled.  "Yes…  Thalia told me that you two had decided to inspect the Head Student lounge tonight, and I thought that I would like to see how you feel about the it."

"I adore it.  I commend whoever was responsible for the decorations," said Lily.

"I'll be sure to alert Professors Knight and McGonagall, then," said Dumbledore, blue eyes twinkling.

Lily's eyebrows rose.  "Now there's an unlikely pairing."

"Quite," agreed Dumbledore.

"Hey Lil, did you know that there are seats in the shower in the bathroom?  It makes you think twice about what's going on in the minds of the- oh, hello Professor," said James awkwardly.

Lily and Professor Dumbledore were both staring at James, with either an amused expression or a slightly mortified one.

"Good evening, James.  I was just about to tell Lily that it is your decision to inform whomever you like as to the whereabouts of these rooms, and that if you choose to do so, the both, or one of you may sleep in the bedrooms that are off beyond those doors," said Dumbledore.

"Thank you, we'll consider it," said James.

"Oh, Professor, James and I were discussing the prospects of having a Yule Ball over the Christmas holiday, and we were wondering if we can bring it up at the first Prefects meeting," said Lily.

"Of course, my dear, if it is what you wish," said Dumbledore.  "I must be on my way, now.  I have the intentions of taking up Professor Knight on a rematch of Gobstones.  I suppose that he will be excited at the proposal.  Good evening."

"Good night, Professor," chorused Lily and James.

"So, let's check out those bedrooms, eh?" said James, turning once Dumbledore left.

*          *          *

"The Dark Lord will be most happy when he learns this information," said Eve, running her long fingers over the glossy scales of her pet snake.

"What have you discovered, Eve?" asked her dorm mate, Lyra Fallacia.

"The fact that Evans's parents are rather important in the Muggle world, and that her sister loathes her.  There is also the fact that Evans tends to feel neglected…  It is a known fact that the Dark Lord is quite partial to playing mind games with his prey before he goes in for the kill," said Eve, her gray eyes glittering dangerously.

"Oh?  And how did you go about obtaining this information?  I'd be appalled if you made such an effort into investigating Evans's personal affairs.  The Mudblood isn't worth it," said Eris Feria, another Slytherin 7th year.

"Of course not," snapped Eve.  "Naturally, I hired someone to investigate for me.  Father would be disgusted if he were to know that I associated with Muggles," said Eve haughtily.

"What do you think he will do with this information?" asked Bellatrix Black lazily, as she brushed her hair in front of an ornately carved bureau.

"I think that he will instruct us to subtly warn Evans of the danger whilst planting seeds of paranoia and distrust in her perfect little world," said Lyra.

"What do you think, Eve?" asked Petra Opacus, the last Slytherin girl of their year.

"We will simply have to put Evans in a state of vulnerability and then attack her, leaving her crushed and with little hope and little desire to live," said Eve.

"Judas doesn't give you much credit for your intricate plans or your cleverness," said Eris.

"Yes, well, he is also ignorant of who else I sleep with, other than him," said Eve, smiling maliciously.

*          *          *

"So what's this I hear about you becoming friendly with James?" asked Lexi, looking up from her Potions essay.

Lily shrugged.  "Like I said the first day back—I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt.  Potter isn't as bad as I thought he was."

"Of course not.  You just never thought to follow your own motto and take the time to know him," said Lana impatiently.

"Hey, it's not my fault if he always acts like he's the prince of Hogwarts," said Lily.

"Well technically, he's the prince and you're the princess," said Emily.

Lily raised an eyebrow in Emily's general direction.

"Being Head Boy and Head Girl and all," added Emily.

"That's a really interesting way of putting it," said Lexi.

"Whatever.  Last night we decided to have a Yule Ball this Christmas holiday.  We figured that we should make our last holiday here a memorable one," said Lily.

"Oh, yay!" said Emily.

"I'm so excited!  The parties that you plan are always bloody fantastic," said Lexi.

At this moment, Juno decided to poke her Labrador head out of Lana's bag, which was on the table.  She stretched out her back and gave a puppy yawn.

"Hey, June.  Decided to come out?" asked Lana, rubbing her pet's ears.

"Your babbling woke me," said Juno.  "You lot whisper like foghorns."

"Yes, well, we tend to get loud when we're excited," said Lexi.

"I don't feel like doing my homework anymore.  I know enough about Muggles to practically _be_ one!  I could honestly give a damn about the Muggle educational system, let alone write an essay about it," said Lana, sighing and rubbing her eyes.

"All of your work is a result of what career you opted for.  I don't see why you should be complaining," said Juno.

Lana rolled her eyes.  "Everyone complains about their work," she said simply.

"Just pick up your quill and continue writing.  If you know so much about Muggles, then this essay should be quite easy for you," said Juno, nudging the quill towards Lana with her nose.

"Shut up for a second, will you?" said Lily, still writing her essay.  "All right.  Done!" she said, setting her quill down with a flourish.

Lexi scowled.  "That makes one of us."

"Oh, come on.  This is the only assignment that was assigned, and it's a simple topic.  Anyway, will I see all of you at dinner?" asked Lily, gathering up her books.

"Yep.  Bye!" said Emily, waving at Lily.

"See you later," said Lily over her shoulder.

*          *          *

There was a brief knock at the door, making Lily jump a little.

"Come in," she called out from her bed.

After Lily's study session with her friends, she had gone back to the dorm to write a little bit in her notebook.  No one in the entire school knew what Lily wrote in her book.  They only knew that if you touched it, severe and brutal hexes would be thrown your way without mercy.  Lily tended to write some poetry or just random thoughts into her precious notebook as a way of keeping her life on track.  She always found herself choked up with some sort of emotion, whether it was frustration or insanity, or some other feeling.  She quickly shoved her notebook under her pillow and looked up, waiting for the person to enter her dorm.

James's head appeared inside the dorm, and then the rest of his body.  Like the majority of the population at Hogwarts, James had changed into more casual clothes once classes were over.

"Lil?  Can you come downstairs for a minute?  The guys and I need your opinion on a prank," said James.

"Since when was I a source of information for pranks?  And how did you get up here?" asked Lily, raising her eyebrow.

"Since you told me last night that you've 'had your fair share of trouble making'.  Besides, I want to see how your mind works.  And my ways of traveling about this school are not my secrets to tell," grinned James.

"Fine," said Lily simply, rolling her eyes.

"You weren't doing anything important, were you?" asked James as he followed her down the stairs.

"No, just writing."

"Will you ever let anyone take a peek?"

"No," said Lily.

"Ah ha!  There she is!  Our prank-proofer.  Excellent," said Sirius, wildly grinning at Lily.  "Anyway, we've been spending the better part of our afternoon planning a prank on TGB (The Greasy Bastard), and we finally decided on a course of action.  We just need your expertise to check the master plan for any flaws or whatever."

Peter handed Lily a piece of parchment that had all four boys' writing scrawled across the page at one point or another.

Lily accepted the parchment and glanced down at it, but not before rolling her eyes.  The Marauders were planning on charming all of Snape's shoes to make a squishy noise every time he took a step.  After about 200 steps, give or take a few, Snape would find him person doused in vanilla-scented bath oils.

"You see, we weren't sure if the charm would apply to all of Snape's shoes with that incantation, and we weren't sure if the number of steps was too big or too small," said Remus, reading over Lily's shoulder.

"The incantation should be correct if you had good enough aim," said Lily.  "Stop that," she said, pushing Remus aside, who was previously reading over her shoulder.

"Sorry," he said.

"Okay.  What about the number of steps?" asked Peter.

"It probably takes about 300 steps to the Great Hall from the Slytherin common room, so I think that you should raise the number five- or six-hundred.  I'm assuming that you want to make this publicly humiliating?" said Lily, raising her eyebrows.

"Of course!  TGB deserves nothing less," smirked Sirius.

"Then you might want to raise the number to 650, just to be safe, and also so that it isn't obvious that the prank was done overnight," said Lily.

"Brilliant.  Thanks, Lily," said James.

"Of course.  Now can I go back to my dorm?  I was pretty busy," said Lily.

"You are free to frolic and spread the love," said Sirius, grinning crookedly.

Lily rolled her eyes and made her way over to a vacant window seat, and summoned her notebook to her.

A couple of minutes later, a small crowd of people began to form around James and Sirius.  Lily looked over the top of her notebook to see that the boys had conjured a shimmering dog and stag, which were fighting each other in the air.  The group of 5th year girls that were sitting at James and Sirius's feet were oohing and aahing at the slightest movement of the animals.

When the noise got too unbearable for Lily, she got up and went to go to the Head Students' lounge.  At least there she would be able to find some peace and quiet.

Annoyed that she had to move for the second time that day as a result of the Marauders, Lily got up and walked out of the portrait hole seemingly unnoticed.

*          *          *

James watched as Lily slipped out of the common room.

_'Where is she off to now?'_ thought James.  He shrugged to himself and continued his 'fight' with Sirius.

"Come on, Prongs!  You can do better than that.  Focus, god damn it!" said Sirius, as his dog pounced on James's stag and knocked him over.

"I've just been feeling generous recently, which is why I'm holding out," grinned James, winking at the girls at his feet.  _'If only Lily was one of them…_'

"Give me what you've got," said Sirius, as his dog continued to maul the stag.

"Alright," laughed James.  With a flick of his wand, the stag jumped up and furiously started tackling the dog with his antlers.

"Alright, alright.  You won that one," said Sirius., when the dog lay in midair with his tongue hanging out of his mouth.

James laughed.  He knew that Sirius was only saying that to save face.

"So James, what's it like to be Head Boy?" asked one of the girls.

James proudly puffed out his chest.  "Well, it's not easy.  I have to keep up with my work and my pranking, deduct points and give detentions to Slytherins.  Trust me, it's not glamorous," he said, leaning back into the couch.

Remus snorted.  "And you've just been suffering like a poor, lost puppy, even though we've only been here for about three days."

"Damn straight," said James.

"But you have the added bonus of having Lily as your Head Girl," said Peter.

"Ooh, I heard that she has an extremely nasty temper.  She's always been so obnoxious to me," said a girl.

"Nah, Lil's really nice.  You just need to take the time to get to know her.  She's one of the best friends that you can have if she trusts you," said James.

"Since when did you know Lily this well?" asked Sirius, raising an eyebrow.

James shrugged.  "I've seen a different side of her recently."

"So she isn't as stuck up as she looks?" asked a different girl.

"Who are we talking about?" asked Lana, as she, Lexi, and Emily came into the common room.  Lana situated herself on Remus's lap while Lexi and Emily both took chairs.

"Erm, no one," said a girl.  She and the rest of her fifth year friends cleared out when Lily's best friends sat down.

"Right…  You guys were talking about Lily, weren't you?" said Emily.

"You could say that," said Peter.

"But we only spoke good things about her.  Those girls were just jealous," said James.

"Mmhm.  Anyway, have you seen Lily recently?" asked Lexi.

"She left the common room a while ago, why?" said Remus.

"I just wanted to check some of my facts for the essay with her," said Lexi.

"You could've asked any of us," said Sirius, motioning to himself, Remus and James.

"Yeah, well, no offense to any of you guys, but I trust Lily more," said Lexi.

"Gee, thanks.  Nice to know that you think so highly of our academic capabilities," said Sirius sarcastically.

"I'll go and get her.  I think that I know where she went, and it's close to dinnertime anyway.  I'll see you guys at the Great Hall," said James.

"Alright.  Tell her that I was looking for her," said Lexi.

"Will do," said James.

*          *          *

_So many expectations to live up to_

_Yet so many obstacles to overcome_

_Everything that is needed is within my grasp_

_But something holds me back_

_Something valued, something foreign is beckoning to me_

_Everything is confusing, hazy, and unclear_

_Nothing is as it seems anymore_

Lily bit her lip and stared at her attempt at poetry.  _'I've lost my touch,'_ thought Lily angrily.  She raised her fingers to her face and began rubbing her temples when there was a knock on her door.  Lily raised her head.

"Come in," she said.

The door opened and James entered the room, coming to sit on one of the armchairs placed in Lily's Head Girl bedroom.

"Hi.  I was sent here on Lexi's command. Apparently I'm not good enough to compare facts with," said James, mock pouting.

Lily rolled her eyes.  "Oh no, someone alert the Ministry.  James Potter was cast aside for someone else," said Lily sarcastically.

James shrugged.  "What's she talking about anyway?  The Potions essay?"

Lily nodded and brought her attention back to her poem.  _'Nothing is as it seems anymore…  Where do I go after that?'_

James was sitting on his chair in the awkward silence while Lily read and re-read whatever she was looking at.  "Lily?" asked James, bending his head a little to catch Lily's eye, hoping to bring her out of her reverie.

"Mmhm?"

"I think that we should go to dinner now.  It started 5 minutes ago," said James.

"Alright, I'll meet you there," said Lily, not looking up.

"Are you sure?" asked James.

"Mmhm."

"I can wait for you if you want," offered James.

"James, just go, I'll be fine," said Lily.

"It's okay.  I honestly don't mind," said James.

"James.  Go.  Now," said Lily, looking up this time.

"Alright, fine.  Just don't start whining when there isn't any food left for you," said James.

"James, shut the hell up and go!" snapped Lily.

"You know, maybe I can help you with whatever you're doing," said James, still hovering at Lily's door.

Lily blew out some air and rubbed her face with her hands.  "Potter, I don't need your help right now.  I know that it may be hard for you to accept that, but not everyone always needs your help," said Lily, as though she were talking to a child.

James furrowed his brow, closed the door, and stepped closer to Lily's bed.  "Why are you like this?  I'm just trying to be more than an acquaintance of yours because if you haven't noticed, we have to spend the entire year working together.  That means that we have to cooperate and agree on various matters."

"I'm not 'like' anything, Potter.  I simply just don't like it when people think that they know the answers to everything, so they have to butt into everyone else's problems," said Lily.

"Look.  The only thing that I've been trying to do is lend a hand.  I'm sorry if I'm insulting your intelligence or something like that, but I meant no offense," said James.

"You just don't get it," said Lily, sighing angrily.

"Then tell me!  Tell me what I'm always doing wrong!  Tell me why you've barely ever given me the time of day!  Aside from those rare moments of peaceful dialogue, you're always talking to me in some condescending tone, and I don't appreciate that.  Tell me now if you're going to be a royal bitch about everything that I do, so that I can just steer clear from you.  If you want to, I'll never talk to you again," said James, getting angry now.

"No, it's not like that!  I've just been irritated a lot recently.  I enjoy your company, I do.  It's just that sometimes you're so overwhelmingly _there_ all of the time that it gets frustrating," said Lily, trying to reason with James.

"Well that's a lie if I ever heard it.  I've known you for 7 years now, Lily, and I've barely ever spent more than an hour alone with you.  If you don't like me, tell it to my face so that I don't waste my time trying to gain your friendship," said James.

"Don't you see?  That's the thing!  It's always _you_.  It's always about _you_.  Don't you ever consider what other people might be feeling?  Sometimes you need to take the time to think about someone _other than yourself_," said Lily.

"Of course I'm thinking about me right now," snapped James.  "I'm what seems to be your problem, like some mosquito that just won't die.  Two nights ago you said something to me, and I think that it applies to you too—_don't pretend to know me_.  You have selective hearing and the only things that you know about me are my accomplishments that are practically broadcasted over the entire school.  You don't take the time to push past all of those labels and assumptions.  But you know what?  I'm not going to take up your precious time to try to 'redeem myself' in your eyes," said James, breathing deeply from the sudden anger and frustration bubbling inside of him.

"Fine," said Lily simply.

James opened the door and was about the walk out when he stopped.  "You know, the only thing that I've been trying to do for the past three years is to try to get you know you more.  I've been nothing but nice to you, but you just shut me down every time, and it kind of makes me wonder what I've ever done to deserve this kind of punishment.  You may not intend to do this to me, but you just do," he said softly.  He walked out and closed the door behind him.

Lily kept her eyes on James's back during the last part of his speech and closed her eyes when the door closed.  "Damn it," she muttered, and hit her head against the wall several times.

*          *          *

A/n: Well, that was my first chapter.  It's not much and personally I don't think that it's my best piece of writing, but I'm making up a plot to this story as I go along.  If you're wondering, Lily and James won't get together for a while.  They still need to build their friendship, and then after that, Lily needs to realize how she feels for James.  So if you're wondering when they'll finally be a couple, you'll have to wait for a _loooong_ time.

I hope that you liked this chapter, and please review!  All comments, critiques, and even flames are welcome.  I'm still not entirely sure where this story is heading except for the general idea that everyone knows about.  I'm still working out the smaller plotlines.  So anyway, all reviews are most welcome.  Anyway, this is a song that I thought fits well with the current situation that Lily and James are in.  

Complicated 

_By Avril Lavigne_

_Uh huh, life's like this_

_Uh huh, uh huh, that's the way it is_

_Cause life's like this_

_Uh huh, uh huh, that's the way it is_

_Chill out, whatcha yelling for?_

_Lay back, it's all been done before_

_And if you could only let it be, you will see_

_I like you the way you are_

_When we're driving in your car_

_And you're talking to me one on one_

_But you've become_

_Somebody else round everyone else_

_You're watching your back like you can't relax_

_You're trying to be cool, you look like a fool to me_

_Tell me_

_Why'd you have to go and make things so complicated?_

_I see the way you're acting like you're somebody else gets me frustrated_

_Life's like this, you_

_You fall and you crawl and you break and you take and you turn it into_

_Honestly, promise me I'm never gonna find you faking_

_No, no, no_

_You come over unannounced_

_Dressed up like you're someone else_

_Where you are and where it's at you see, you're making me_

_Laugh out when you strike a post_

_Take off all your preppy clothes_

_You know, you're not fooling anyone when you become_

_Somebody else round everyone else_

_You're watching your back like you can't relax_

_You're trying to be cool, you look like a fool to me_

_Tell me_

_Why'd you have to go and make things so complicated?_

_I see the way you're acting like you're somebody else gets me frustrated_

_Life's like this, you_

_You fall and you crawl and you break and you take and you turn it into_

_Honestly, promise me I'm never gonna find you faking_

_No, no, no_

_Chill out, whatcha yelling for?_

_Layback, it's all been done before_

_And if you could only let it be, you will see_

_Somebody else round everyone else_

_You're watching your back like you can't relax_

_You're trying to be cool, you look like a fool to me_

_Tell me_

_Why'd you have to go and make things so complicated?_

_I see the way you're acting like you're somebody else gets me frustrated_

_Life's like this, you_

_You fall and you crawl and you break and you take and you turn it into_

_Honestly, promise me I'm never gonna find you faking_

_No, no, no_

_Why'd you have to go and make things so complicated?_

_I see the way you're acting like you're somebody else gets me frustrated_

_Life's like this, you_

_You fall and you crawl and you break and you take and you turn it into_

_Honestly, promise me I'm never gonna find you faking_

_No, no, no_


	2. Back to School

A/n: Hey!  Thanks for all of the positive reviews.  Very much appreciated.  As for the negative ones, all I can say is thank you for adding more reviews.  J Shout out to Lex, who's been my first reviewer since my first story.  (You keep snagging that first bump/review.  Totally grateful!)  Another shout out plus shrieks of glee to those of you who've popped over to this site after reading my first story.  You guys are the best!  I'm really sorry for have taken forever to update, but I've been extremely busy.  So thanks for waiting!  Anyway, this chapter will be in Lily's POV.  Hope you like, and please review!

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

Chapter Two: Back to School

God, why the hell did I have to do that?  Jesus, every time I think that something's _actually_ going well with James, I just have to go and ruin it.  Maybe I have some weird sort of interaction complex or something.  If I hurry, maybe I can still catch him…

"James!" I said, running up to him, as he left the study.

He didn't say anything, but he stopped.  Hey, at least he's acknowledging my presence, even if his back's facing me.

"Look, I'm really not that great at apologies, but I'm sorry.  I didn't mean to be so harsh.  It's just… I don't… ugh."  I stopped to take a breath and compose my thoughts and myself.  "What I'm trying to say is that I really don't mean to be so unfriendly, and I honestly don't try to push you away.  I want to be your friend, I do.  I just want you to realize the fact that I have some boundaries that I'm just not ready to have some people cross yet," I said, rubbing my nose.

"Okay."

"I'm sorry?"

"Okay.  I forgive you.  Because that's what _friends_ do," said James, turning around.  He had a glimmer of a smile playing on his lips.

I relaxed and let out a smile.  "Thanks.  So, how about dinner?"

"Yeah, let's go.  I think that I could do with a bit of food," said James.

"James, what I said back in my room-" I started.

He waved his hand dismissively.  "Don't worry about it.  What's been done has been done.  You can't change the past."

"Yeah I know, but hear me out.  When I said that you're self-centered and always focused on yourself, I didn't mean it.  Especially since I know that it isn't true.  I've witnessed first hand what you can do for your friends."  I dropped my voice to a low conspiratorial tone.  "More specifically, what you've done for Remus.  I think that it's the best thing that a person can do in that kind of situation."

"Yeah well, as much as I would love to take credit for it, it wasn't exactly my idea…" said James.  "It was Sirius's."

"Really?  I never would have expected that."  Wow, that was really clever of him.

"He read something about Animagi while he was researching for something, and he thought that it would be a brilliant idea if we taught ourselves how to do it so that we can help Remus.  Honestly, it's the best thing that the bloke has ever thought of," said James.

"He can come up with things like that if he puts his mind to it, yeah?" I said.

"You'd be surprised with what he can come up with if he's really intent on getting something done."

"The sad truth about that is that most of those powers are bent towards making Snape's life bloody miserable," I said.

James chuckled.  "Can't say that he doesn't deserve it…  And you can't disapprove of me for saying that.  You've seen the way he reacts.  You can only fight fire with fire.  It's only fair for both parties involved."

"What about stopping the 'fire'?" I said.

"Well, I guess that it's more of a male dominance thing than some school grudge.  We could've ended this feud years ago.  But if we did that, then we wouldn't be following the traditional Gryffindor/Slytherin arguments, and one of us would be shown as the weaker person," said James.

"Yes, but at the same time, you could be regarded as the stronger person by backing down and calling it quits," I said.  I'm actually having a slightly intellectual conversation with him, and I'm enjoying it.

"The sad thing is that none of us are mature enough to do so," said James.  "It's okay though.  I'm not tiring of it, and Sirius will never back down.  You saw what he did last year.  Even if it was entirely a misunderstanding," I snorted, "it was still stupid and fueled by hate.  I have a feeling that sometime in the future, one of them is going to need something from the other, and it's going to be something where they'll have to forget their hate for this one, earth shattering favor."

"What makes you think that?"

"Just the fact that most people who've hated each other for years and years eventually have to end it at some point to help the other out.  Sirius is a good sport, and he'll definitely give Snape a chance when it's needed.  He may be hot headed sometimes, but he knows where the boundaries are," said James.

"I guess that Snape would have enough respect to do the same.  I know that neither of us have had prolonged contact with him, but we know enough about his habits and personality to know that he would never do something so outrageously unfair out of pure spite," I said.

"Exactly," said James.

"Wait, did we just give Snape credit for actually having an ounce of decency and normality in him?" I ask, stopping in my tracks.

James stopped, and looked thoughtful for a second.  "Yes," he said, nodding.  "Yes, I think we did.  And you know what?  I don't feel like I need to back that up with some snide remark about his nose or make a comment about his strange hygiene habits, or lack thereof."

"You know, you just made them," I pointed out, snickering a bit.

"Yes, but I didn't embellish as I usually would," said James.

I shrugged.  "True."

*          *          *

"Welcome to the second day of N.E.W.T. level Defense Against the Dark Arts," said Professor Aiden Knight.  As usual, he started the class off by sitting on his desk after everyone was settled.  One of the things that I love about his classes is that he has the room set up with the individual desks in a circle so that we can see everyone when they're saying something.  It's also a lot easier to understand a certain wand/wrist movement if you can see it close up without having to crane your neck over someone's head to see properly.

"Yesterday, we did the brainless task of reacquainting ourselves with one another after spending about three months apart.  Yesterday, none of my expectations or plans for the lot of you was mentioned, and I certainly didn't mention what you will be learning throughout the course of this year.  I have known all of you for 4 years, since I started teaching here when you were all in your 3rd year of Hogwarts.  I have seen you grow academically, physically, socially, and most importantly, mentally.  I know what you are capable of, and I'm proud to have you in this year's class.  I am also proud to note that in the 4 years of my teaching in Hogwarts, this is the first time that I've ever taught a class of this caliber with members of all four Houses.  To this, I truly commend all of you," said Professor Knight.

"Is this the part where you bring out a bottle of champagne and we get to skive off lessons for at least another day?" piped up Sirius.

I rolled my eyes.  Sirius can be such an idiot sometimes.  The fact that he can be so moronic most of the time, yet still be one of the top five students of this school truly astonishes me.

"No, Sirius, but this is the part where I have to become a lot more serious, excuse the pun, than I have ever been," said Knight.

"Well," said Sirius, giving a nonchalant laugh, "I always knew that you favored me over some, Professor, but-"

"Which means that some things will not be tolerated any more," continued Knight.

Sirius shut up and the two Slytherins present chuckled.

"My expectations of this class are very high.  I will have you writing an essay _at least_ once a week, every week, and you will have either group or individual projects assigned to you twice a month.  The lessons will be more practical than theoretical, so prepare to be roughened up a little.  If you have any problems with this, now is the time to excuse yourself before you decide to proceed with this demanding class," said Knight, pausing to look at us.

No one moved.  No one breathed.  _I_ didn't breathe.  It's so quiet in the classroom, that you could hear Sirius, James, and Remus's stomachs rumbling from hunger.

"Excellent.  If you will take out your timetables, you will see that we will not be meeting on Wednesdays.  While technically the timetables are correct, they are simultaneously wrong.  We will be meeting Wednesday _nights_, when we, as a class, will be entering the Forest.  We will go quite deeply into the forest," Sirius and James sniggered quietly, "but we will not go into the very heart."

"That would be too penetrating, wouldn't it?" said James with a straight face.

"Sometimes they scare me," I said to Remus, referring to their sexual innuendo.

"Yeah, well, you're not alone," he said in a bored tone.

"Yes, it would.  Miss Spencer, I saw that you had your hand up.  Did you have a question?" asked Knight, nodding towards a girl with brown hair.

Sirius sighed audibly, rolled his eyes and whispered something to James.  James shook his head in response.  He turned his head and winked at me when he caught my eye.  If only I could read their minds…

Molly, a 7th year Hufflepuff is one of those girls who always tries so hard to, how shall I put this, 'blend in'.  She tends to copy the styles of various people, like yours truly.

She cast a glance in Sirius's direction, most likely to see if she had his attention, and then proceeded with her question.  "Yes, um, I was wondering if you actually have _permission_ to do so.  I mean, I wouldn't want any of my peers to get hurt," said Spencer, giving Sirius a flirty smile.

He smiled back in an I'm-not-interested-but-just-being-polite-don't-you-get-the-hint kind of way.

"Trying too hard," said James under his breath, disguising it as a grunt as he shifted positions in his chair.

Lucy, a good friend of mine from Ravenclaw, and I giggled.

"Yes, of course I do.  I've been taking my 7th years into the Forest since I first started teaching.  I believe that your old Professor Smeath did so as well during his days.  Professor Dumbledore, the Minister of Magic and I believe that anyone who was accepted into this class is intelligent enough to handle himself or herself in the Forbidden Forest.  We also think that it is a good learning experience for those of you who intend on becoming Aurors, since it would show you first hand what type of creatures you might be dealing with, should they become a problem.  Bringing you into the Forest is also a test of responsibility.  You will all be responsible for watching each other's backs and making sure that no one is ever left behind and that everyone is safe at all times."

"How long will we stay in the Forest for?" I ask.

"Well, we will be entering soon after dinner, so at about 7:45.  I will have you back in your dorms by 11:30.  That will give us enough time to explore parts of the Forest and learn more about it in depth.  Now, this is my lesson plan for the rest of the year.  For these first two months, we will be studying the history of Dark Magic in more detail than you have ever learnt it.  That means that there will be some aspects of it that will make your insides squirm.  That does not, however, mean that we will not be fully exploring the subject matter.  For the three months after that, I will be teaching you how to protect yourself against some of the more powerful curses and jinxes.  I will have an assistant from the Ministry come to aid me during the said months.  Along with teaching you defense, we will also be teaching you curses, jinxes and charms that will prove helpful if you're stuck in a bad situation or if you're in a duel.  From the second week of February until your Spring Holidays, we will cover different types of Dark creatures.  These will not be simple grindylows or boggarts, which you tackled in your fourth year.  We will discuss and actually take on creatures like vampires, trolls and banshees.  During this time, we will have two assistants to keep the creatures at bay, should the need arise.  For those last three months of the term, well, that will be a surprise," finished Knight, with a glint in his eye.

"Will the Thursday night lessons be related to what we're learning during the day?" asked James.

"No, those night classes will be geared towards acquainting yourselves with what lurks in the Forest and learning some basic survival skills.  Some of the subjects of the evening classes will be related to what we will be learning when we study Dark creatures," said Knight.

"Will we ever have duels?" asked Lucy.

"We will have some practice duels during that section of the year, so yes," said Knight.  "Well, we've covered everything that I wanted to today, so I'll dismiss you 15 minutes earlier than usual.  If you have any questions, please stay behind to have them addressed."

I picked up my bag and stood.  "So we have a free now, right?" I said, checking with Lucy.

"Yeah.  What are you gonna do?"

I shrugged.  "Probably just take a nap or something.  I'm really tired for some reason."

"Okay.  Anyway, what do you think about the whole going into the Forest thing?" asked Lucy.

"I'm okay with it.  To be honest, I've been in the Forest several times, not counting detentions.  Plus it'll be sort of relieving to actually be in there with permission, even if we're with other people," I said.

"Lily, are you going to the Tower?" asked Remus.

"Yeah, why?" I asked over my shoulder.

"No reason," he said, shrugging.

"Whatever."  I turned back to Lucy.  "So are _you_ okay with going into the Forest?"

"I don't know.  I guess I'm sort of excited, but a part of me has this nagging feeling that we shouldn't really be going.  It's hard to explain," said Lucy.

"Well, the worst thing that can happen is that someone would get attacked or kidnapped or something like that, and the odds of that happening should be very low.  We're supposed to be on guard, no?  It would be our own fault if something happened," I said.

"Yeah I guess so, but I still have that feeling in the pit of my stomach.  Whatever, we don't have to think about it for a week.  Anyway, I'll see you later," said Lucy.

"See you," I said, and turned the corner.

*          *          *

"Hey, how was class?" I asked Emily, the only other person in the dorm.  I kicked off my shoes, dropped my bag into my desk chair and flopped onto my bed.

"Same old, same old," she shrugged.  "How was yours?"

"Not exciting in the least bit.  He just told us what we're going to be doing this year," I said, staring up at the burgundy canopy of my bed.

"Anything out of the ordinary?"

"Not really.  Except for evening classes in the Forest.  But it's not like we've never been there, you know?"

"Yeah…  Listen, what do you think of William Corley?" asked Emily.

I turned over onto my stomach and looked at Emily.  "Will from Hufflepuff?"

"Mmhm."

"Well, I don't have anything bad to say about him.  He's never done anything terrible, and he's a gentleman, as corny as that may sound.  If he changed his hairstyle, he'd be a right looker too," I said.  "Why do you ask?"

"Oh, nothing," said Emily, looking down and tracing patterns on her duvet.

"Oh come on, you can tell me.  I won't tell anyone anything," I said, sitting up.

"No, really, it's okay.  You have enough things to worry about, being Head Girl and all," said Emily.

"Em, tell me!  My friends are always first before my schoolwork.  And besides, maybe I can even help you in this predicament," I said.

"Well, if you're sure that it won't be a burden of any sort…"

"Dung.  You know that I love hearing about our friends' latest endeavors in romance."

"Okay.  Well, I think that I sort of fancy Will, but I'm not quite sure.  So I don't really know what to do.  Should I flirt with him?  Should I subtly tell him that I might be interested?  I really don't want to do anything too drastic either, since it might muck up any chances that I would have with him if I really _do_ fancy him," said Emily.

"Okay.  So what you're saying is that there's a little feeling that's been brought to your attention recently, and that feeling's towards Will.  Do you feel any… different when you're around him?" I asked.

"No, not really.  Well, I sort of feel more self-conscious, but that's sort of normal, you know?" said Emily.

"Right.  Well, I think that you should just take the next couple of days, or however long you need, to figure out what you really feel.  The worst thing that you could do is rush into a relationship and not think about what that might do to the other person involved.  It wouldn't be fair if it was all one-sided.  It wouldn't be fair to you, and it wouldn't be fair to Will," I said.

"Yeah, I see your logic in all of this.  Thanks, Lil," said Emily.

"Any time," I said.

Emily yawned.  "I wonder what time I went to bed last night… I'm really tired."

"Yeah, I'm exhausted too.  It feels like we've been back at school for at least two months, but it's barely been a week," I said.

"Oh, shit.  I'm supposed to meet Lana for a Runes assignment.  Bugger, I gotta go.  I'll catch you later. Thanks again!" said Emily, grabbing her bag and running out the door.

Emily needs to open up more.  She hasn't been her usual perky self recently.  I stared at her side of the dorm and smiled.  As usual, there are pictures of cities all around the world all over all of her things.  There are postcards from New York, Paris, Melbourne, Rio de Janeiro, Moscow, and tons more surrounding the corkboard that she tacked up over her desk.  There's also a small pile of post from her aunt who has spent the past two years traveling abroad after retiring early.

Which reminds me, I should write Mum and Dad an owl…

I crawled to the edge of my bed and pulled out a couple of sheets of blank stationary, pretty ink, and my favorite quill from my trunk.

Okay, here we go.  I loaded up my quill with ink and poised it over the parchment.  Right.  Let's get to it.  Got to get moving.  Whoops, that can't do.  I waved my wand and the ink that fell from my quill disappeared.  Okay, getting started.  Let's see…

_Dear Mum,_

Okay, that's off to a good start.  What the hell should I say to her?  I guess that there's the usual "I made it back to school okay, everything's fine" and all that jazz, but what else?  That isn't enough to impress her in a way.  Oooh, I could mention the winter party!  Okay.  Here we go.  Writing now…

_Dear Mum,_

_Hi!  I hope that this letter finds you well, as I hope you are.  I'm just writing to let you know that everyone got to Hogwarts safely and without any mishaps or anything like that.  I'm enjoying all of my classes, and I'm definitely enjoying my position as Head Girl.  James and I haven't been asked to do anything too demanding yet, but we're thinking about having a Winter Ball, so I guess that I won't be coming home for Christmas.  In all honesty, I wasn't really planning on going home for Christmas anyway since I wanted to savor my last winter holidays at Hogwarts.  We haven't started making any plans for the party though, since we still have to bring it up in the Prefects meeting tomorrow (Friday).  Professor Dumbledore is all for it, of course, but we just need to see if the idea would be a good one, judging on how the Prefects will all respond. Anyway, I have to write a letter to Dad before my next class, so I have to go.  Write back soon!_

_Love,_

_Lily_

I read and re-read my letter over and over until I was sure that nothing sounded too stupid or unnecessary.  Once it was deemed as decent, I took another sheet of parchment, loaded my quill, and started writing my letter to Dad.

_Dear Dad,_

_Hi!  How are you?  I'm okay, and nothing uneventful, except for a rousing game of Exploding Snap occurred on the way to school.  I've loved every minute of 7th year so far, but that's expected, I guess.  You know how much I love it here.  In fact, I love it so much, that I've decided not to come home.  Ever.  Haha, just kidding.  But I won't be coming home for the Christmas and most likely spring holidays because I want to spend as much time at Hogwarts as I can before I have to leave it for a _very_ long time.  James and I (if you don't remember, James is Head Boy with me) are planning on having a Winter Ball to make winter holidays more exciting than usual.  I was thinking about having it two days after classes are finished so that we can all settle down into our holidays routines, and then have the party.  And since I prefer the castle when it's emptier than usual, I'm going to talk to Professor Dumbledore and try to suggest something to him—I was hoping that we could have a second train ride scheduled for the day after the ball so that people can go home after the party if they wanted to.  What do you think?  The ball isn't definite yet since it still has to be pitched to the Prefects on Friday, but it's most likely going to happen.  After all, when have the students of Hogwarts not been up to a party?  And a planned one at that._

_Meanwhile, how are things at home?  Mum isn't all stressed out for the September issue, is she?  I hope not.  And how are things at the bank?  Anything out of the ordinary or something worth mentioning to your favorite daughter?  __J  Oh crap, I have to go.  If I don't stop writing now, I know that I'll lose track of time and be late for class.  I better go and find someone.  Write back soon!_

_Love,_

Rie (A/n: pronounced 'ree') 

I re-read it once, decided that it was perfect, and folded up both letters.  I'll go to the Owlry after dinner.  I put them on my desk and gathered my books for my next class.  Once that I was sure that I have everything that I need, I headed downstairs.

"Hey babe.  Where's everyone else?" I asked, sitting down on the armchair opposite the one that Sirius is sitting on.

He's writing something that looked like a letter on a piece of parchment.  "Um, Lana and Emily are in the Library, Lexi's meeting with one of her professors, Remus is raiding the kitchens with Peter, and James…  I don't know where he is," said Sirius.

"Ah, okay.  And we have Transfiguration next, right?" I asked.

"Yeah.  Anyway, I have to go send this to the Owlry.  I'll see you at class," said Sirius.

"Okay.  Oh wait, can you send my letters too?  I was planning on going after dinner, but since you're going now…"

"Sure.  Your owl's name is Paris, no?" said Sirius.

"Mmhm.  If you call for her, she'll come to you.  Anyway, just give me a second to get my owls," I said.  I flicked my wand and muttered a spell under my breath and the letters appeared on the table that's in front of us.

"Hey cool.  Where did you learn that?" asked Sirius.

"I made it myself.  Over the summer, I was really bored sometimes, so I would write down spells that I thought would work and what they would do.  That was the first one that I thought of," I said proudly.

"You're too bloody clever, Lil.  It's quite frightening sometimes.  It really is," said Sirius, shaking his head.  He picked up the letters and made his way out of the common room.

Great.  Now what am I supposed to do?

*          *          *

I raised my hand on knocked on the massive door.

"Comin'," came a grunt from inside the hut.

The door swung open and the extremely massive form of Hagrid appeared on the threshold.

"Well hello there, Lily!  It's good teh see yeh," said Hagrid, enveloping me in a bone-crushing hug.

"Hi Hagrid," I said, smiling, once he released me from his death grip.  "How was your summer?"

"It was great.  I wen' teh Bulgaria teh see some dragons.  I've always found 'em int'r'sting," said Hagrid, leading me inside.  "Would yeh like a cup o' tea, Lily?

"Yes, thank you.  And your summer sounds fascinating.  Did you spend all of it in Bulgaria?"

Hagrid nodded.  "I had teh come back early teh help Professor Boon with 'is lessons fer 'is fourth years.  They have a great lesson comin' up this year."

"Are they going to do hippogriffs?" I asked, taking a sip of tea.  I picked up a scone but then thought better of it, remembering the first and last time I tried a substance that's supposed to be food, the first time I visited Hagrid.

"Yeah.  I caugh' some real beauties this time," said Hagrid, beaming proudly.

"I remember my hippogriff lesson…  The entire class was getting on really well with them, even the Slytherins, as strange as that may be, until James decided to tell his hippogriff that 'there's no way that you would ever beat me at Quidditch' or something like that," I said, shaking my head.  "If it weren't for the bloke's quick reflexes, he wouldn't have an arm today."

"Blimey.  I forgot abou' that incident," chuckled Hagrid.  He looked at me through his big bushy black eyebrows.  "Are yeh two getting along all righ'?"

I shrugged.  "We've had some differences of opinion and misunderstandings, but nothing too drastic or damaging."

"Tha's good," said Hagrid, nodding approvingly.

"We're actually planning on having a party this winter.  I'm really excited for it," I said.

"A winter party, eh?  Haven' had one o' those in years.  Yeh're the firs' Head Boy and Girl teh do that in a while," said Hagrid.

"Well, I'm just hoping that it will go off without a hitch.  I've planned big parties before, so it shouldn't be that big of a deal," I said.  "The only thing that I'll need to worry about is keeping on top of all of my schoolwork while planning this thing."

"I'm sure that yeh'll do all righ', Lily.  Yeh always have," said Hagrid.

I smiled.  "Thanks, Hagrid.  Well, I better get going.  I don't want to be late for McGonagall's class."

Hagrid chuckled.  "Best be off, then."

"Well, bye Hagrid.  Thank you for the tea," I said, opening the door.

"No problem.  Come back soon, and bring James with yeh," said Hagrid.

"Okay, I will.  Bye!"

*          *          *

I sprinted up the corridor and skidded to a halt in front of the door of the Transfiguration classroom.  I straightened my robes, caught my breath and stepped inside.  McGonagall was taking attendance as people walked into class.  I glanced at the clock on the wall and relaxed.  I have 2 minutes to spare.  Thank god.

"Where were you?" asked Lexi, as I got into the seat next to her.

"I couldn't find anyone earlier so I went to visit Hagrid," I said, putting my books on my desk.

"I was in the common room the entire time, you moron," said Lexi, rolling her eyes.

"You obviously weren't since I went straight to the dorms after class and then went downstairs after I spoke to Em and wrote a couple of letters," I said.

"Lil, what are you talking about.  I was there the entire time," said Lexi.

"Sirius said that you were meeting with a teacher about something, and I would've noticed if you were there in the common room," I said, rolling my eyes.

James slid into the seat next to Sirius behind us.

"Where were you," whispered Sirius.

"Not now," whispered James back.

Just as the words left his mouth, the doors of the room slammed shut as McGonagall stood up.  The latecomers would later have to explain why they were tardy.

"Good afternoon, everyone.  I've had all of you long enough to know what you are capable of, and I expect no less," started McGonagall.

I sighed and leaned back in my chair.  This is the same speech that Knight gave us in Defense.  If every class is going to be like this, I'm going to fall asleep.

McGonagall droned on for a couple of minutes, and I could feel my eyelids drooping.

I turned my head to the right and watched Lexi as she tapped her wand on the desk over and over again, changing its colors, its material and it's style.

I kept my eyes focused on McGonagall's face but flicked my wand.  Out of the corner of my eye, I saw that Lexi's wand suddenly turned into a hissing snake.  I discreetly stuffed my wand back up my sleeve and suppressed a grin.  Lexi immediately dropped her wand and uttered a little scream.

"Is there a problem, Miss Lieberman?" asked McGonagall, stopping mid-speech and glancing at us.

I quickly waved my wand and Lexi's wand returned back to normal.

Lexi shook her head.  "No, just a little wand trouble," she squeaked.

"Well if that is the case, please try to contain yourself and not disrupt the class.  Now, as I was saying, you will be transfiguring swords…"

"Bitch," Lexi whispered to me.

I turned my head and winked at her.  "It's not my fault that you can't control your magic," I whispered.

"Girls, please contain yourself.  One more time and I will have you leave the class.  Both of you.  Now, I can see that your attentions are wandering, so we will begin today's lesson.  Find a partner and get a mirror from the back of the classroom.  You will look in the mirror and then transfigure the image that is shown into an oil painting.  Please begin.  And Miss Evans and Miss Lieberman, I suggest that the two of you do not work together today."

"Alrighty.  So which of you fine gentlemen will do me the honor of working with me on this very fine day?" I asked, turning around and looking at Remus, James, Sirius, and Ian Coleman, one of the Ravenclaws in the class.

"If I may, I would love to collaborate with you on this particular assignment," said Sirius, bowing.

I laughed.  "Okay, cool.  I'll go get the mirror and you find a table."

I walked to the back of the class and looked at the wide array of mirrors.

"This project's harder than usual," said Lucy Adler, who I have all of my classes with.

"I know.  Talk about starting the year off on a good note, eh?" I said.  I reached for a long mirror with wavy sides.  "Well, I'll see you later.  I gotta start this bugger."

"Yep," said Lucy.

"I think I got us a good one," I said, putting the mirror down on the desk that Sirius chose for us.

Sirius shrugged.  "I don't care what kind of mirror we got, as long as I get to work with you," he said, grinning.

"Aw, thanks.  You're so sweet, Black," I said, sitting down.

"What can I say?  I'm smooth with the ladies."

I burst out laughing.  "Okay, I'm sorry, but that was the worst line that I have ever heard in my entire life."

Sirius shrugged as he began to work on the mirror.  "I thought that I'd give it a try."

I leaned forward and put my face in my hands as I continued to shake with silent laughter.  Oh my, that was really pathetic.  Hmm, how come I suddenly feel all cool and calm?

"I had to put a calming spell on you.  McGonagall was coming around to check on everyone and it wouldn't do to have her see you laughing, now would it?" said Sirius.

"I suppose not.  And wow, you've done a lot in the past like two minutes," I said.

Sirius had already transfigured the edges of the mirror into a gilded frame with intricate patterns carved into it.  He's working from the top down, and already you can see our images being turned into a very finely detailed piece of art.

"I try," said Sirius nonchalantly.

"You know, if it weren't for the whole Snape escapade last year, you definitely would've made Head Boy," I said.

"Well, I'm sort of glad that it happened.  I mean, can you imagine me, Sirius Black, Head Boy of Hogwarts?  I'd be the role model to all the little boys in the school, I'd have lots of responsibility, and I would have to take things seriously.  As nice as it would have been or looked on my transcript, it's not my cup of tea," said Sirius.

"I think that you would've been perfect," I said.

"What about James?" asked Sirius, looking at me from the corner of his eye.

"James is fine, but I feel like I can connect with you better," I said.

"What's the difference?  We're basically the same person, except that I'm better looking."

I rolled my eyes.  "You are not the same person, and you know that.  Sure, you share many of the same ideas and opinions, but you two are completely different from each other."

"Completely different?"

"Completely."

"I don't really see what you mean, but I'll just take that as a compliment."

All of a sudden, McGonagall held up our mirror.

"May I have your attention please," said McGonagall, about to present Sirius's handiwork to the class.

Everyone stopped what they were doing and turned to face her.

"I want you all to notice the care that Mr. Black has taken into transfiguring this image into a painting.  Notice the details, the shadows, and the reality of the painting.  I want all of you to be able to transfigure an image like this one by the end of the period.  Well done, Mr. Black.  20 points to Gryffindor," said McGonagall.

"Thanks, Professor," said an astonished Sirius.  "Never saw that one coming," he said, as soon as McGonagall left us to go and check on a group over by the windows.

"Well, it _is_ really good," I said, picking up the fully transfigured painting.

"Jesus, Sirius. This is amazing.  It could surpass the Mona Lisa," I said.

"The Mona Whatta?" said Sirius.

"One of the most famous Muggle paintings of all time.  I'm basically just saying that it's really good," I said.

"Well, it has to go bye-bye.  It's your turn," said Sirius.  And with a wave of his wand, the painting was transfigured back into a mirror.

"So anyway, what's it like to be Head Girl?"

"Eh, there's not much to say.  We haven't really done anything yet, so it hasn't really kicked in.  James and I have to chair our first Prefects meeting tomorrow, so I'm sort of looking forward to that.  But other than Prefect meetings, there isn't much to do as of yet," I said.

"What about James?  Have the two of you gotten into a tiff yet?"  asked Sirius, grinning slyly.

"I'm assuming that you already know the answer to that question, but I'll humor you.  Yes, we've had a row, but it's over and done with, sealed with apologies and everything," I said.

"So you kissed and made up?" said Sirius, his grin getting as wide as one that would make the Cheshire cat proud.

"In essence, yes," I said.  I pointed my wand at him and his entire body disappeared except for his mouth.

"What'd you do that for?" asked Sirius's lips.

"You just reminded me of a character from a Muggle play, so I turned you into him," I said.  I kissed my fingers and touched his lips with them.  "Now shut up as I tweak this thing."

*          *          *

"Welcome to the first Prefects meeting of the year.  There isn't much that we need to do today, so this will probably end relatively early," I said.

James and I are seated at the head of a long table in a conference room that's set up for meetings—faculty and student alike.

"First we'd like to say that being Head Students kicks ass, and this is going to be one hell of a year," said James.

Shouts of approval came from the Prefects.

"The first major thing that we've decided on having is a winter ball.  We thought that we could have it two days after the end of classes so that we can have time to prep for it," I said.

"Then we're hoping to get a second train ride back to King's Cross the day after the party to kick the other people out of the castle.  It's more fun with less people," said James.

"So are there any oppositions to this proposal?" I asked.

Everyone shook their heads.

"Alrighty then.  We'll start planning this party next week.  In the meantime, are there any issues that need to be addressed within your Houses?" I asked.

"Persephone," said James, motioning to the 6th year Ravenclaw girl.

"Yeah, there's a problem in one of the girls' bathrooms for the first years.  Whenever you open one of the doors, tampons and condoms shoot out at you," she said.

Everyone burst out laughing.

"How the hell did that happen?" I asked, struggling between giggles.

"I don't know!  One of the girls just came to me the other day and said that weird things keep on hitting her in the face whenever she tries to get soap out from under the sink," said Persephone.

"Poor, ignorant, little girl," laughed Gary Winston, one of the Hufflepuff Prefects.

"Okay, well, I'll tell the house-elves to do something about that," I said, shaking my head as I wrote it down in my notebook.

"Anything else?  Hopefully it'll be sex and hygiene related as well," said James.  "Yeah, shoot," said James, pointing to Adam Bailey, one of the Gryffindor Prefects.  Hey, James and I can't be doing everything, you know.

"Just wanted to remind you guys about the lack of hot water for all of the fourth years," he said.

"Oh, right.  Shit, that must suck ass," said James, shaking his head as he wrote down the complaint as I did.

"Well, if that's all, see you around," I said, standing up and gathering my stuff.

The sound of chairs scraping the floor filled the room as I put my notebook back into my bag and got ready to leave.

"Lil, do you guys want to go to dinner with us?  Me and the guys want to take advantage of this new 7th year privilege and _legally_ go into Hogsmeade," said James, as we left the conference room.

"Yeah, sure," I said.  Now that we're in 7th year, we get to go into Hogsmeade whenever we want on Friday nights and during the weekends.  "What time is it, anyway?"

"Almost 7," said James.

We went up a flight of stairs and through a couple of tapestries.

"If I remember correctly, our curfew's at 2?" I asked.

"Yeah.  The gates to the school close and lock themselves at 2:01.  So basically, if we get back too late, we're fucked," said James.

"Damn, that's harsh," I said, shaking my head.  "And there's absolutely no way to get back in until morning."

"Yeah.  Warm fuzzies," said James to the Fat Lady.  The portrait swung open, revealing the crowded common room.

"Oy, why are there so many people here?  Shouldn't they all be down at the lake or torturing small animals or something?" said James, as we threaded our way through the crowd to get to the side of the common room that we've established as the 7th year side.

"I have no idea.  Maybe they're all about to go to dinner or something," I said.

We finally got to the couches where our friends were sitting.  Lexi's having a heated discussion with Emily, which is probably something about why Thumbelina lived on lily pads instead of mushrooms or something.  Lana and Remus are snuggling on the couch, and Sirius is boredly poking the side of Peter's head as Peter attempted to read a book or something.

"We leave you for less than half an hour and this is what you're all reduced to?  This is pathetic," said James, sadly shaking his head.

"You're finally back!  I've been bored out of my bloody mind.  If you hadn't come sooner, Peter probably would've had a hole on the side of his head," said Sirius.  He patted the seat next to him and I plopped down beside him.

"As if you couldn't poke something else," I said.

"There's nothing to poke without you around, love," said Sirius, playfully putting his arm around me and kissing the top of my head.

"She didn't live on mushrooms because she lived near a pond, not a forest, you moron!" shouted Emily.

"What's that about?" James asked Sirius, pointing at Lex and Em.

Sirius shrugged.  "They were arguing about this Thumbelina person when I got here.  Don't look at me, I don't have a fucking idea about what it is."

"Thumbelina's this little fairy or whatever who was about the size of a thumb or something like that.  It's a Muggle fairy tale," I explained.

"Whatever.  Forget I asked," said James.  "Anyway, let's get ready for dinner."

No one moved.  I doubt that Lexi and Emily heard what James said.

"You guys, are we going out or not?" said James.

Again, no one moved.  Sirius and I blinked at him as everyone else continued what they were doing.

"Holy shit, Sirius don't touch me like that!" shouted James.

That got everyone's attention.  Emily stopped mid-sentence and Remus stopped stroking Lana's thigh.  Well they've been getting cozy…

"Finally!  Anyway, everyone go and get ready to go out tonight.  We're going to Hogsmeade, no matter what," said James.

"Aw, I was hoping to see some guy/guy action," said Lexi disappointedly.

"Sorry, you won't be seeing that here," said Sirius.

"Meet back here in one and a half hours," said James.

We all left to go to our respective dorms.

Well, we're definitely back to school.

*          *          *

A/n: Okay, that wasn't such a great ending for the chapter, but I wanted to finish it by tonight so that I can finally post.  Again, I'm extremely sorry for updating like 5 years after the first chapter, but I've been attacked by my homework.  Anyway, hope that you enjoyed.  The next chapter will hopefully be out by the end of this month.  I'm thinking that unless I'll have a lot of free time all of a sudden, there'll be at least one update every month.  Hopefully that'll change, but you never know.  

I Dare You to Move 

_By Switchfoot_

_Welcome to the planet_

_Welcome to existence_

_Everyone's here, everyone's here_

_Everybody's watching you now_

_Everybody waits for you now_

_What happens next?  What happens next?_

_I dare you to move, I dare you to move_

_I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor_

_I dare you to move, I dare you to move_

_Like today never happened_

_Today never happened before_

_Welcome to the fallout_

_Welcome to resistance_

_The tension is here, the tension is here_

_Between who you are and who you could be_

_Between how it is and how it should be_

_I dare you to move, I dare you to move_

_I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor_

_I dare you to move, I dare you to move_

_Like today never happened_

_Today never happened before_

_Maybe redemption has stories to tell_

_Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell_

_Where can you run to escape from yourself?_

_Where you gonna go?  Where you gonna go?_

_Salvation is here_

_I dare you to move, I dare you to move_

_I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor_

_I dare you to move, I dare you to move_

_Like today never happened_

_Today never happened before_

_Today never happened_

_Today never happened_

_Today never happened before_


	3. Lost in Translation

A/n: Hello everyone!  I'm really sorry that it's taken over a couple of months to get this chapter out, but I've been extremely busy with all of my schoolwork, not to mention the fact that I have a social life as well.  Anyway, aside from that, I don't really have much to say except that this chapter's going to be in Emily's point of view, starting from dinner out.  Enjoy and please review!

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Chapter Three:  Lost in Translation

"So Emilio and I were in the kitchen and my parents weren't home, so we decided to mix a couple of drinks for ourselves.  He was working the shaker for the martinis and I was opening a jar of olives when all of a sudden _my mum_ walks in.  So I'm freaking out, and I'm thinking 'Holy shit, she's gonna stick me with a cocktail umbrella.'  I'm standing there, frozen, holding the jar with one hand and the cap in the other, and Emilio's having fun with the shaker and shit, basically just fucking around.  All that my mom does is that she takes an olive, picks up a couple of photos that she left, and then goes, without saying anything," said Lily.

We all laughed at her story, just imagining Lily and her summer boyfriend, Emilio, both of them half drunk with her mother right there.

I self-consciously pulled my skirt down over my fishnets and re-adjusted my shirt.  I'm going to have to start working out again.  I've been gaining too much weight…

"I'm gonna go outside for a fag," said Sirius, standing up.

"Wait, I'll come with you," I said.  I downed the rest of my drink in one gulp and left the table with him.

We squeezed our way out of the crowded restaurant and stood outside in the warm night air.  You could hear the music from inside blasting out and pouring onto the street.

Sirius fumbled in his pockets for the pack and his lighter and finally produced them.  He stuck two fags in his mouth, lit both, and then handed one to me.

"Thanks," I said.  I inhaled and held the smoke in for a bit, savoring the feeling.  God, I miss this, I haven't smoked in ages.  This is so refreshing.

"So Em, when did you start smoking?" asked Sirius, leaning against the wall of the building.  "You never did it before," he said, blowing out a cloud of smoke from his nostrils.

I shrugged and took another puff.  "I started a couple of weeks ago when I found out that my aunt had committed suicide," I said unemotionally, then blowing a perfect smoke circle.

"I'm so sorry.  I had no idea," said Sirius sympathetically, putting his hand on my arm.

"It's okay.  I didn't tell anyone.  I don't want anyone to know, so if you could just…keep this between us, I'd really appreciate it," I said.  I looked away and brought the fag up to my lips.

In all honesty, Aunt Christy's death was a major blow that went straight to my inner being, even though I refuse to let it show and outwardly affect me.  She was my favorite relative in existence and brought me around the world and generally through most countries in Europe when I was a little kid.  Mum and Dad never had enough money to take me to Switzerland or wherever, but Aunt Christy always did.  She'd broadened my horizons.  Everything that she did was just so incredible to me, and I could never comprehend how someone could know so much.  In fact, I still don't.  She wrote a letter to me a couple of days before she died.  She told me that she just couldn't handle the separation with Uncle Paul anymore, and that living in that huge house all alone didn't make things any better.  She left me everything.  Every single penny, jewel, and thread.

"So…  do you want to talk about it?" asked Sirius, carefully expressing his thoughts.  "You don't have to if you don't want to.  If I were you, I don't know how I'd be holding up right now.  Your aunt was one of the coolest people that I knew, and I'm pretty sure that I only caught a glimpse of what she's really like."

"I might as well…  I mean, you're the only one who knows, so what the fuck, right?"  I smiled at Sirius and looked into his eyes.  "She was at her house in Sussex and she was in another depression, but this one left her completely distraught and miserable, much worse than all of her previous lows combined.  According to one of her maids, Aunt Christy never left her room for two weeks.  She wasn't eating what they brought to her, so she was basically starving herself.  And then someone was sent to check on her one day, and they found her in the bathtub."  I paused to take a breath.  I closed my eyes briefly and then opened them again, successfully making my tears go away.  I haven't cried in years.  I'm _not_ going to start now.

"What happened?" said Sirius in a tone so gentle, so comforting.  I feel like I can tell him anything and everything and know that he would listen and keep it a secret if I asked.

I looked up into his gorgeous ice blue eyes and held his gaze.  "They found her in the bathtub, with both of her wrists slit and an empty bottle of pills on the floor," I said simply.  If only it were that simple to move on and forget the past.

"Oh love, I'm so sorry," said Sirius.  He drew me into a hug and just held me for a couple of moments.  "I'm really surprised that you've kept this from everyone for so long though.  Especially from Lana," he said into my hair.

I let go of him.  "No, you can't tell anyone.  I don't want to be pitied and treated as if I'm going to break at a single glance.  No, it's better if no one knows," I insisted.  "Please, don't tell anyone."

Sirius nodded.  "If you don't want me to tell, I won't."

"Thanks."  We stood there for a couple of seconds, letting what I just said sink in.  I felt as though the air and my surroundings were closing in on me.  I felt trapped, like a caged animal.  I sucked into smoke from my fag and closed my eyes, willing myself to get a grip on things.

"Any time.  We should probably go back in now…  They're probably wondering where we are," said Sirius.

"Yeah, okay," I said.  I took one last drag from the fag and then flicked it away.

*          *            *

We Apparated from the restaurant in Hogsmeade to Blue, a club and bar in downtown London.  We got several rounds of Stoli and Kamikaze shots before we joined the throng of people grinding and moving to the beat of the music.

Everyone immediately got up to dance, but Peter wandered off in the direction of a lonely looking girl, and Lexi and I stayed behind to have another shot.

"To the new school year," said Lexi, raising her shot glass.

"To the new school year and every wild and crazy thing that'll come of it," I shouted over the music, raising mine as well.  We clinked our glasses, intertwined our arms and downed the shot.

"Come on, let's go," I said, jerking my head to where everyone's dancing.

We threaded our way through the crowd, amidst the anonymous sweaty bodies, dancing to the beat of the trance music blaring from the speakers.  The floor's so packed that you can't move a single centimeter without touching someone else.

When we got to where our friends are, Sirius pulled me close to him and put his hands on my hips.  "Let loose tonight.  You deserve it," he whispered.  I shivered slightly, feeling his hot breath on my ear.  Then I grinned and continued to dance, following his movements.

~   *   ~

"We should probably go back.  It's almost 1:30 and we'll need time to walk up to the castle from the gates and then head back to the dorms," shouted Lana over the music.

The majority of our little group is seated at a booth, smoking, cuddling, or swirling around a cocktail.

"Someone go get them," I said, nodding towards Lily and James who're dancing _really_ close.

Their eyes are glued to each other's and James's hands are on Lily's ass, while she's running her hands through his hair.

"I'll do it," offered Sirius.  He heaved himself up off the couch and retrieved the two.

"Let's go before we all pass out," said Remus.  "I feel like I'm gonna fall asleep any second now."  He slung his arm around Lana's shoulders and led the way to the exit.

*          *            *

Ugh, what's this brightness in my face?  It's too early for the sun to be out…  God damn it, why did I sleep with my curtains open?  Oh.  I didn't even change.  Haha, that's great.  I don't remember half of last night.  Everything's a blur after that third round of margaritas…  Oh well, everyone else was pissed as well.

I slowly pulled myself up to a sitting position and stared at my clock for a while, seeing the numbers but not registering what they mean.  After blinking a couple of times, the time was finally revealed to me—10:26.  I kicked off my Manolos (borrowed from Lexi) and peeled off my shirt.  I quickly changed into a pair of shorts and a long sleeved shirt before tossing my hair up into a ponytail.

"Alright, where's that potion," I muttered, looking through the cabinets in the bathroom.  There's a box of tampons, some toilet paper, shampoo…  Ah ha!  I finally located the gigantic maroon potion bottle that we discovered two years ago.  The concoction clears any hangover (no matter how big) in a matter of seconds with just one swig.  I knocked down some of the stuff and felt a satisfying tingle in my body that instantly replaced my piercing headache and nausea.  

~   *   ~

The cool morning air felt refreshing on my face and legs as I ran around the edge of the forest and took a lap around the lake.  Now that I've decided to exercise more, I'm gonna have to have a daily run since I'm not on the Quidditch team or anything.

After running, I propped myself up against an outcropping of rocks above the lake and lazily dipped my fingertips in the water and drew patterns on its surface.  Despite the fact that it's almost midday, the dew could still be seen on the nearby blades of grass and the streaks of pink from the sunrise are just starting to fade away.  It's actually quite odd to see all of these signs of the new day at this hour.  It's like time has been delayed for the moment.

When people started to drift out onto the lawns, I decided to get up and leave.  The aroma of bacon, warm toast and mint porridge wafted out of the Great Hall as I passed, and you don't know how goddamn tempting it is to go inside…  But I stood strong and kept on walking.  After all, I'm trying to lose weight, right?  Eating fattening breakfast foods every day won't help me at all.  So instead of going in and taking my usual seat at the Gryffindor table, I kept on walking straight to the main staircase and proceeded on my way up to Gryffindor Tower.

*          *            *

"Did you eat brekkie yet?" asked James as he came down the stairs.

I looked up from my Arithmancy homework that I actually decided to start.  "Yeah, I had some earlier after my run while you lazy bums were all asleep," I lied.

"Ah yes, but we all need our beauty sleep after a night out, don't we?" said Lexi, coming into the common room and plopping down onto the couch beside me, laying her golden head on my shoulder.

"Anyway, what are we going to do today because I honestly don't feel like sitting around indoors all day doing my homework," I said, scribbling down a couple of figures as I spoke.

James shrugged.  "I was planning on getting started on making plays for Quidditch.  The season's going to start in two weeks, so I have to start making game plans and practice routines and shit."

"I'm actually still kinda tired," said Lexi, fighting a yawn but losing her battle.  "I'm also ravenous right now…"

"Yeah well, aren't we all," said Lily, coming down the stairs.  "If anyone wants to come, I'm on my way to the Great Hall," she said, walking through the common room, stopping briefly to say hello.

"I'm coming!" said Lexi.  She jumped up and joined Lily to go and eat.

I shook my head and went back to my work.

"So Emily, how've you been?" asked James.  His entire body is spread out on a couch near my chair, playing with a Snitch.

"However you want me to be, James," I said.  I glanced up and winked at him.

"Obviously that's not true since you aren't completely naked, waiting for me with open arms…among other things," grinned James.

"That can be arranged," I said slyly.  Maybe if I subtract this number from the first equation, this problem will work out for me…

"Ooh, yes, _please_," said James, licking his lips seductively.

I rolled my eyes.  Just let me get back to my work so I can get this fucker done.  "Well, you'll just have to wait because right now, I have other things on my mind, and I want to give you _all_ of my focus and attention."  I can't believe that I'm actually flirting with James Potter.

"Consider it a date, then.  Just don't forget your promise," said James.

"Pick me up at 7?"

"Whenever you want, love."

"Awesome."  Okay, this problem isn't making any sense to me…  "I'm gonna head over to the Hufflepuff common room.  I need to find Olivia.  I'll see you later," I said.  I stood up and gathered my books, throwing them into my bag.

"Ciao, babe," said James, sending me an air kiss.

I rolled my eyes and held up my hand as I walked by.  Okay, so I need to finish this Arithmancy homework, which I can do with Olivia.  Then I have Ancient Runes, Muggle Studies, and History of Magic.  Jesus, what the hell was I thinking when I chose these classes?  History of Magic?  The one year that I can screw over Binns is the one year that I decide to take his class.  Again.  For the seventh year in a row.  God, I'm on crack.

*          *            *

"Wait, let me get this straight.  _James Potter_ just asked you out and totally flirted with you?" asked Olivia, practically falling off of the couch.

"Liv, don't get your knickers in a twist.  He was most likely joking when he asked me out, and am I honestly that unattractive to not have guys flirt with me?"

"Of course you're attractive and of course guys would love to go out with you!  I'm just saying that it's quite odd that James asked you out, just like that," said Olivia, snapping her fingers.

"Like I said, he was probably just joking.  Besides, I'm not interested in him," I said.

"Which means that you obviously have someone on your radar, because how could you turn down James Potter, the sexiest bloke on campus?"

"First of all, Sirius Black could definitely give James a run for his money.  Secondly, I'm not quite sure if I fancy someone or if it's just a random attraction," I said.

"Well, who is it?  Come on, tell me!  Pretty please?"

I shook my head and mimed zipping my lips.  "I'm not exactly interested in anyone right now, and even if James is serious, I'm going to turn him down because he just isn't my type of guy.  He's too perfect.  I need someone more real, someone I can relate to."

"Like…" said Olivia, trying to get me to dish.

"I don't know.  Some hot man who has that tragic, starving poet look to him," I said, listing certain characteristics that I just happen to find sexy and enthralling.  I'm so going to regret that later, and it's going to bite me in the ass.  I just know it.

"Speaking of which…" said Olivia, watching as Will Corley walked across the common room.

Fuck.  I knew that I shouldn't have said anything.  Instant fucking karma.  And it isn't _my_ fault that today Will just happened to be wearing a black sweater while holding a little black notebook and looking all I'm-lost-without-you-will-you-please-give-me-a-hug-and-lots-of-kisses?

"No, it's not him!" I said desperately, mentally cursing myself for God knows what.

"You know what?  I'm going to go outside and find a nice tree to sit under so that you can have some alone time with your 'tragic, starving poet'.  Ciao, darling," said Liv.  She blew a kiss and left the common room.

What's with everyone blowing kisses these days?

Dear lord, I need some coffee and a nice little sticky bun or something.  My brain's fried and I'm slowly digging myself a huge hole that I won't be able to get myself out of.  But of course, I do this to myself every year; in a different and more elaborate and fucked up way as time progresses.  Oh, how I love growing up.  It's fabulous, glamorous, and a hell of a lot of fun.  By the way, note the sarcasm that every letter and syllable is laced with.

"Emily Grant," said a deep, husky voice.  I looked up, straight into the grayish blue eyes of, you guessed it, none other than William Corley.  The tragic, starving poet, the I'm-lost-without-you-will-you-please-give-me-a-hug-and-lots-of-kisses man himself.

"Will, hi!" I said, plastering a smile onto my face.  If I keep it there long enough, maybe I can slowly back away…

"What brings you to our neck of the woods these days?" he asked, seating his lithe body on an overstuffed armchair adjacent to the couch that I'm seated on.

"Nothing really," I said.  "I just came to ask Olivia a question about the Arithmancy homework, but she decided to ditch me for something tall, dark, and handsome."

"And that is?"

"A tree," I said simply.

"Ah, yes.  I should have known.  Is she off to go and talk to the tree pretending that it's her boyfriend and is the only one who'll listen to her ramblings?" asked Will.

"Actually, I think that she just wanted to get some air," I said flatly.

"That works, but I like my musings better.  More entertaining," said Will, laughing a bit.  "Anyway, I was wondering if you wanted to meet up in the library later for a little study session for that Ancient Runes test coming up."

Bloody hell.  My heart just stopped.  This attraction to Will is disgustingly confusing and isn't helping me in any way.  Okay, think clearly.  It's just a study date.  Nothing romantic or enticing about it.  Just say yes, and I'll do well on the test.

I looked up and smiled.  "Sure.  What time will we meet?"

"Around 4?  I'll bring some stuff that we can snack on," said Will.

"Awesome.  Well, I have to go.  I'll see you then?" I said, standing up and re-tying my ponytail.

"Sure.  Go to the section by the windows on the east side of the library," said Will.

"Alright, cool.  Bye!" I said, and walked, nay, ran out of the common room.

*          *            *

"Holy fuck, what time is it?" I asked, running into the dorm and throwing my stuff onto my bed.

"Whoa, hey.  What's up?" asked Lexi, looking up from her issue of Cosmopolitan that her mum sent.

"Need to shower really fast.  Okay, it's only 2.30.  I have time," I said.  I kicked off my shoes, took off my jumper and ran into the bathroom.

I jumped into the shower and turned on the water, quickly getting my hair wet and reaching for the shampoo.

"Em, is everything okay?" said Lexi, poking her head into the bathroom.

"Yeah, everything's perfect.  I'll explain later," I said.  Gah, shampoo in eyes.  Ouch!

"Alrighty then," said Lexi.  She closed the door and left.

~   *   ~

"So what was up with the incoherent sentences and mad dash into the bathroom?" asked Lana when I finally emerged from the loo.

"Well, you know how I had to go and ask Liv about some stuff for Arithmancy homework?" I said.  I pulled open a drawer and began rifling through my clothes, looking for something to wear for my study date.  I really need to go shopping.  I have nothing here.  Absolutely nothing, except for rubbish.  "I ran into William in their common room, and he asked me on a study date, which is in like an hour."

"Ooh, really?" squealed Lexi.  "That's awesome!"

"Oh my god, can I dress you?" asked Lily, jumping up from her bed.  How I love Lily, she's always ready for the opportunity to help someone who has a horrid collection of clothes.

"Oh, yes please!  I have absolutely nothing to wear.  I'm looking for smart-casual-chic," I said.

Lily tossed me a pair of trousers and a cashmere jumper the second I finished my sentence.

"That's bloody perfect, Lil," I said.  I jumped up onto my bed and closed my curtains for privacy.

"So what's your study date for?" asked Lexi as I wriggled into the pair of cords.  Fuck, these are a bit snug.  I'm afraid that they'll rip.  Damn that skinny bitch.

"We have an Ancient Runes test coming up.  I think that it's on Thursday," I said.  I opened my curtains and jumped down from my bed.  "Well, what do you think?" I asked, standing in front of the mirror and adjusting the jumper.  Please god, please don't make me ruin Lily's cords.

"If I were a guy, I'd totally fuck you right now.  You look hot," said Lana.

"Shut up!" I laughed, throwing a nearby pillow at her.

"Hey, it's true," said Lana.

"Whatever," I said, shaking my head.  "Alright.  Next problem: hair.  Up or down?"

"Messy bun," said Lexi, coming towards my head with a brush in hand.

"Okay," I said.  I let her do my hair as I dabbed on a bit of make up.

"Em, you look amazing.  Now go, have lunch, and then go to your date!" said Lily, glancing at the clock.  "It's only 3.30, so you have plenty of time to eat and do whatever you need to.  And don't forget to be fashionably late."

I rolled my eyes.  "Of course!  Besides, when am I ever on time?"

*          *            *

I wandered outside after leaving the common room.  Despite my stomach's rumblings and protests, I decided to skip lunch and just have a smoke instead.  I spotted Sirius and Remus walking by the greenhouses, so I picked up my pace to catch up to them.

"Hey guys, what's up?" I asked, falling into stride with them.

"Procrastinating and hiding from James," said Sirius.

I raised my eyebrow in response.

"Neither of us want to do our homework, and James has been going crazy about the Quidditch plays," said Remus.

"But you're not on the team…" I said.

Remus shrugged.  "He attacks me anyway.  Trust me, I don't understand the workings of James's mind either.  Crazy bastard."

"You look particularly nice today.  What's the occasion?" asked Sirius, eyeing me up and down.

"Oh," I said, blushing a bit.  "I have a study date later."  God damn it, why do I feel embarrassed about saying this to Sirius?

"Really?  With who?" said Sirius, drawing out his words and making the vowel sounds twenty times longer than they should be.

"Does it matter?" I asked.

"Of course it does!  We can't let our Emily out without knowing where she'll be at all times and/or with who," grinned Remus.

I rolled my eyes.  "You'll need to give me more reason than that."  I grabbed Remus's wrist and looked at his watch.  "Anyway, I gotta go.  I'm late as it is.  I'll catch you later, kids."

"But we need to know who you'll be with!" shouted Sirius as I walked away.

I shook my head, laughed, and kept on walking.

*          *            *

"Hey William, sorry I'm late," I said breathlessly, dropping my stuff on a chair.

"Yeah, it's no problem.  Glad you could join us," said Will.

I froze.  'Us'?  Who's 'us'?  And then it hit me.  William's best friend, Adam Pelham was sitting to his left.  Of course Will wouldn't ask me out on a date… I feel so stupid.

"Oh, yeah, of course.  Besides, we all want to do well on our first test, no?" I said, forcing a smile and sitting down.  Okay, I'm handling this gracefully so far.  'So far' being the key phrase…

"So should we snack first or snack later?" asked Adam, nodding towards the pile of goodies on the windowsill.  Croissants, muffins, brownies and cookies were piled on a napkin, with several Butterbeers standing nearby, waiting to be cracked open.

"I say snack first.  I'm famished," I said, grabbing a buttery croissant.  Fuck my new diet, I need comfort food and I haven't eaten anything since last night.  Besides, I can just throw it up later.

"Excellent.  I'm with her," grinned William, reaching for the pile as well.

I can feel my ears turn bright red with fucking embarrassment.  Honestly, how could I have been so _stupid_?  Will would never ask me out.  He just doesn't see me that way.  In the meanwhile, I'll just concentrate on getting my books out of my bag without any problems.  Hopefully I won't fuck up and fall off my chair.  I can see it happening now…  I bend down, in my chair, mind you, and reach into my bag to get my books out.  But in the process of leaning over, the chair moves as well because of my shifted weight, and I topple off the chair.  There'll be a big commotion, what with my swearing and the chair falling, but then, to top it all off, there's gonna be a horribly loud sound—the sound of my pants tearing in my ass area, and the sound of even more swearing.  By the end of this afternoon, I won't have any confidence or self-esteem left. Bloody hell…

To my luck, my book retrieval went smoothly, with the exception of dropping a sheaf of parchment.  But fear not, because that worked out quite nicely.  After a quiet little 'oops!' from yours truly, Will bent down and picked it up for me.

"So, what did you guys do last night?" I asked, making conversation as I tear into a second croissant.

"Well, we had a late dinner in Bridgehampton and then got piss drunk in London," said Adam.  "Got to take advantage of these new liberties, eh?"

I laughed. "Yeah, I know what you mean.  I hardly remember what happened after 11.  It's bloody ridiculous."  I reached for a bran muffin and devoured it within a couple of seconds.  Christ, I'm hungry.  "Anyway, shall we commence the translations?"

"Might as well.  I mean, that's what we're here for, no?" said Will.

~          *            ~

Oh my god, my brain is so fucking fried.  We've been sitting here for…almost 2 hours now, and we haven't taken any breaks whatsoever.  Jesus Christ.  I knew that Hufflepuffs are all ambitious and whatnot, but honestly, all work and no play?  Definitely not healthy in any way.  Heehee, I just rhymed in my mind.  Awesome.  Anyway, whenever Olivia and I study together, we take breaks _tons_ of times.  In fact, we're studying for less than half the time that we're together studying.

My gaze shifted from my book and drifted across the table until it fell upon William's hands.  Hmm…  He's a lefty.  Lefties are hot.  Hey, Sirius is a lefty as well.  Interesting similarity there.  My eyes moved up to his lips.  I was about to embark upon what kind of a kisser he'd be, when a movement to my right caught my eye.  I ceased staring at William and inclined my head, looking for the source of disruption.  I turned just in time to see the heel of a foot turn the corner, past the lofty bookcase and into the next aisle, where I lost my visual.

"I'll be right back, you guys," I said to Will and Adam, excusing myself.  I need to figure out who that was and possibly even what they were doing.  Besides, it's a perfect excuse to get up and stretch my legs.

"Yeah, sure," said William, looking up just briefly enough to smile and nod at me.

I got up from my chair and ventured down the aisle, as noiselessly as possible.  Who the fuck is stalking me?  Or maybe I'm just going insane, which is completely a possibility.  God knows what goes through my mind.  Hell, even _I_don't comprehend my train of thought.  Pssht.

I turned down the aisle and into the next one, only to find Sirius and Remus peeking through the spaces in between books.  I rolled my eyes.  They can't _possibly_ be spying on me.  Crazy gits.  I tip toed up to them and quietly cleared my throat.  No reaction.

"Is there any reason why you two are so interested in…" I reached for a book, "'The Mating Calls and Sexual Rituals of Water Newts'?"

Sirius and Remus jumped.  "Christ on a fucking stick, Emily.  What are you doing?" said Remus, spinning around.

"The question is: what are _you_ doing?  Planning on shagging a couple of unsuspecting newts?"

"Er… yes.  Exactly that.  Now if you would be so kind and hang back my cheat sheet to turning on a lady newt…" said Sirius, holding out his hand to retrieve the book from my grasp.

I raised my eyebrows in response.  "Try again."  I crossed my arms and leaned back against the opposite bookshelf.

"We just wanted to see who you were with," said Remus nonchalantly, shrugging his shoulders.

"Well, lucky for you, it wasn't a one-on-one session," I said, turning away.

"Hey, come on.  It's not like we _wanted_ your date to not go as planned," said Sirius.  "Anyway, from what we saw, they can handle being on their own for the rest of the day or for however long they're gonna study.  Wanna ditch them and go back to the Tower with us?"

I shrugged.  "Sure, whatever.  I can't look at those bloody books anymore anyway.  Let me just go and say goodbye."

I turned to go and Remus smacked my ass with 'The Mating Calls and Sexual Rituals of Water Newts'.  "You horny wolf," I said, winking.

Remus grinned.  "You bet your ass I am," he said, and howled.

I shook my head, grinning and walked over to the table where Adam and Will are studying like there's no tomorrow.  "Hey guys, I'm gonna take off.  I just realized that there are some people waiting for me in the common room," I said.  I began to put my sheets of parchment together and put my quill and ink away.

"Oh, okay.  Well, see you later then," said Adam.

"Yep," I said, swinging my bag over my shoulder.  I reached out to get my Runes textbook and William put his hand over mine.  My eyes flew up to meet his, searching for something unnamed in his eyes.  I felt a funny little flip in my stomach and I felt my ears turn a shade of red.  For a split second, time stood still and I just stood there, staring at his eyes.

"Will I see you later?" he asked, keeping his hand there.

My eyebrows rose in surprise.  Okay, play it cool.  "Yeah, sure.  Drop by the Tower if you want.  I don't think we're going out tonight, except maybe for dinner or something."

"So I guess I'll just see you around, then," said Will, removing his hand from mine.

I glanced back down at my hand and then looked up at his face.  "Yeah.  See you," I whispered.

I turned around and started walking to where Remus and Sirius were waiting for me, and I can feel his eyes on my back.  I'm so confused right now.  I can't quite figure out if he likes me or not because he brought Adam with him, but on the other hand, maybe he _does_ like me because of that whole ordeal that happened just now.  I shook my head.  There are just too many subliminal messages that I'm getting from him.  I reached the guys and we walked out of the library and headed back towards Gryffindor Tower.

"So what have you guys been up to all afternoon?  Aside from avoiding James?" I asked.

Sirius shrugged.  "Same old, same old.  Went to the kitchens and got some snacks, wandered around the grounds, you know.  Nothing out of the ordinary."

"Well, we went down to the Shrieking Shack to do a bit of light dusting and to make an attempt to tidy up the place before the next full moon, and apparently a niffler gave birth in the lower level of the shack," said Remus.

"Are you serious?  That's adorable!  I remember seeing nifflers for the first time in what was it, fourth year?  Yeah, I think.  Anyway, I remember thinking that they were one of the cutest, fluffiest little things that I've ever seen.  I can only imagine what a baby niffler would look like!  Aw, that's so precious," I said.

"You should come down tomorrow or something.  I can show them to you if you like," said Sirius.  "They're probably something like a week old.  Tiny little buggers."

I laughed.  "Yeah, I'll bet they are."

*          *            *

I opened the door to the dormitory and was relieved to see that Lexi and Lily weren't home.  Lana was downstairs cuddling with Remus, so she probably won't be up for a while.  I dropped my bag off on my bed and walked into the bathroom.

I looked at myself in the mirror and took in every aspect of my face.  Every freckle, every eyelash, every blemish.  I just don't understand why I somehow repel guys.  I mean, sure, there was Luke over the summer, but that's an entirely different story.  I'd known him all my life.  We'd work shifts together at my parents' bed and breakfast.  We shared our first kiss together, told each other our secrets.  He's one of the few people back home who knows that I'm a witch.  And this past summer, we experimented with our relationship; took it further than the 'just-friends' level.  We lost our virginity together.  But what we had…  To me, what we had isn't something that I would call a lasting relationship.  As much as I hate to admit this, and as much as it would kill him if he knew that I was thinking this, he'd be heart-broken, even though I know that he understands this too.  But the thing is, we can't ever be something that's more than friends.  I mean, sure, the sexual tension might arise every now and then, but dating each other would just never work out.  The situation, whatever it is, just won't allow it.

I pushed the thoughts of my summer and Luke out of my mind and searched my face for something.  Something that would give me the answers to my problems.  I found nothing and stripped down to my underwear and continued to critique my body.  I turned to the side and looked at my stomach.  God, I feel like such a bloody whale.  I sucked it in and looked back at the mirror.  If I lost enough weight for my stomach to look like that, then I'll be happy.  I conjured a scale and weighed myself—48 kilograms.  If you think about it, I guess that weighing 48 kilograms isn't so bad if I'm 5'6, but I'd still be happier if I trimmed down to something like 44 or 45 kilograms.

I looked back into the mirror and all of a sudden a wave of nausea hit me as I remembered shoving those croissants and muffins into my mouth earlier during my distress.  I knelt over the toilet and stuck my finger in my mouth, ridding my body of those disgusting pastries.  I continued to cleanse my body until I was sure that there was nothing left.

*          *            *

A/n: Well, I hope that you guys enjoyed the chapter!  I know that it's disgustingly late and completely over due, but like I said, I have schoolwork to attend to and I _do_ have a social life.  Anyway, now that I'm on spring break (finally!), I'll have time to work on the story.  Or, at least, I'll have 4 days to work on the story before I leave for France.  But anyway, I'll do my best to write as often as I can.  I just hope that I won't get stuck in a rut anytime soon.  So, if you please, send me your feedback on this chapter, on previous chapters, and the direction that the story's going in, in general.  Thanks!

Not Pretty Enough

Kasey Chambers 

_Am I not pretty enough_

_Is my heart too broken_

_Do I cry too much_

_Am I too outspoken_

_Don't I make you laugh_

_Should I try it harder_

_Why do you see right through me_

_I live, I breathe_

_I let it rain on me_

_I sleep, I break_

_I try hard not to break_

_I crave, I love_

_I've waited long enough_

_I try as hard as I can_

_Am I not pretty enough_

_Is my heart too broken_

_Do I cry too much_

_Am I too outspoken_

_Don't I make you laugh_

_Should I try it harder_

_Why do you see right through me_

_I laugh, I feel_

_I make believe it's real_

_I fall, I freeze_

_I pray down on my knees_

_I hope, I stand_

_I take it like a man_

_I try as hard as I can_

_Am I not pretty enough_

_Is my heart too broken_

_Do I cry too much_

_Am I too outspoken_

_Don't I make you laugh_

_Should I try it harder_

_Why do you see right through me_

_Why do you see_

_Why do you see_

_Why do you see right through me_


	4. Letters and Apprehensions

A/n:  Hey guys!  Well, I hope that you all enjoyed the last chapter.  Again, sorry that last chapter was out ridiculously late.  And sorry that this one's out ridiculously late too.  It's been over three months since I last updated, and that's like a personal record.  Anyhoo, hope you enjoy this one!

-----------------------------

Chapter Four: Letters and Apprehensions

In the privacy of her dormitory, Eve sat at her desk writing a letter to her father.  Her pet snake, Bello, lay coiled at her feet, flicking his tongue out and tasting the air.  The only sound in the room is the scratching of Eve's quill as she writes a report of her own actions and those of the various people that she's been told to watch.  A tapping at the window interrupts Eve and she looks up to see a raven sitting on the windowsill, its red beady eyes fixedly staring at her.

Bello starts writhing towards the window, hissing.

"Ssh, there's no need to get defensive," said Eve, reaching down to stroke her pet's glossy scales.

She rose from her chair and opened the window, allowing the raven entrance.  It circled the room and then dropped a letter at Eve's feet before cawing loudly and leaving as quickly as it came.

Eve picked up the letter and looked at the envelope.  Her name was written in shining scarlet ink, and she realized that it was recently written.

"I wonder…" Eve murmured to herself.  She gracefully sank back into her chair, crossed her legs and opened the envelope with her wand.  A single sheet of paper fluttered out, written with the same shining ink.

"Go to a clearing in the Forbidden Forest at midnight.  Make sure that you are not followed.  You will know where to go."

The letter was 'signed' with the stamp of a skull with an emerald snake writhing as the tongue.  Eve turned the card over, looking for further instructions.  She didn't need to guess who the letter was from.  None other than Lord Voldemort had written to her, giving her instructions to meet him, or his followers, later that night.

"Well, Bello, it seems as though I will be initiated into the Dark Lord's inner circle tonight.  Father will be proud," Even purred, her gray eyes glinting in the torchlight.

She looked back down at the letter and saw that the ink started to run.  Within a matter of seconds, the entire letter was covered with the ink, which suspiciously looked and smelled like blood.  Eve gasped and immediately dropped the letter to the floor when it combusted in flames.

Eve smiled to herself.  This day is going to be better than she thought it would.

"Emily, sweetie, are you alright?  Remus said that you were acting kinda weirdly earlier," said Lana.

She entered the dormitory and walked over to Emily's bed, which had its curtains drawn.

"Yeah, I'm perfectly fine.  Just a little tired and worn out from all of that studying," said Emily, smiling and drawing the curtains.

"Em, you look a mess!" Lana said.  Jesus.  Her eyes are bloodshot and she's all pale and clammy.  Lana sat down on her bed with her.  "Seriously, you can talk to me.  There's obviously something going on, and I'm gonna sit on my ass right here until you decide to spill."

Emily rolled her eyes.  "Seriously, it's nothing.  I was just kinda disappointed since that study date didn't go as planned."

Lana sat and waited for Emily to continue, getting comfortable and taking her time to do so.

"I thought that it was just going to be me and Will, but when I got there Adam Pelham was there too, which totally caught me off guard.  I was expecting to spend a nice little afternoon with William under the pretense of studying together for that bitch of a test coming up," said Emily.

Lana sat silently for a while, and Emily looked at her, waiting for her to say something.

"Get up," said Lana, getting up herself.

"What?" said Emily, obviously confused.

"You heard me, get up," said Lana.  The clothes that Emily had borrowed from Lily were folded neatly on Lily's bed.  She walked over to it and threw them at Emily.  "Get dressed.  We're going to Hogsmeade."

"What?  Why?"  Nevertheless, Emily obeyed Lana's commands and started getting dressed to go out.

"Because you and I need some chocolate.  And some ice cream.  Damn, I can really go for a triple chocolate sundae right now," said Lana.

Emily rolled her eyes.  "You're such a freak."

Lana shrugged.  "I never said I wasn't," she said, closing the door behind them.

"Where're Lily and Lex?"

"They're both in the common room waiting for us," said Lana, leading Emily down the stairs.

Immediately, the noise level rose several decibels when the two reached the bottom of the stairs.

"There you are!  We were looking for you earlier," said Lexi.

"I don't see why you would, but sure," said Emily.

"Come on, let's go.  Time for a girl's night out," said Lily, standing up.  She pulled Lexi to her feet and stepped over Remus and Peter who were playing Exploding Snap on the floor.

"What about the dinner you promised me, Em?" asked James, looking up at her and pouting.

"You didn't think I was _serious_, did you?" she said, raising her eyebrows.

James shrugged.  "Just hoping to spend more time with you."

"Alright, let's go.  I'm famished," said Lexi.

"We'll miss you," said Sirius, grinning maniacally.

"Fuck, I'm bored out of my _mind_," I said.  I sighed and blinked lazily, looking at the world upside down.  Candy wrappers and discarded bits of parchment littered the common room floor.  I wrinkled my nose.  "You know, we live like pigs.  This place is filthy."

"Persephone, you say the same thing every day and you never do anything about it.  Now get up and sit properly because you're making the blood all rush up into my head," said Madison, flipping her head upside down to put her long brown hair into a ponytail.

"Shut up.  The blood's all going to your head since you're upside down, you idiot," I said, rolling my eyes, but getting up anyway.  "Whoa…  Major head rush," I said, standing up.  I attempted walking and ended up falling over, giggling.

"Congratulations, Seph, you've discovered one of the legal highs—head rushes," laughed Madison.

"And now we're going to attempt another one!" I said, getting up and grabbing Madison's hands.  "Come on, up you go!" I said, shouting with glee.  I heaved Madison up and started spinning her around the common room.

"Jesus, where did you get all of this energy?  You're crazy!  And you're damn lucky that everyone's at dinner right now," said Madison.

"Faster!" I cried.

We started spinning around even faster and colors that represented couches and tables and lamps started flying past us in a blur.

"Oh my god, imagine if we let go of each other!" said Madison, giggling hysterically.

"Okay, ready?  We're gonna stop on three.  3…2…" I started counting down.

"Persephone, no!" cried Madison.

"1!" I let go of Madison's hands and stopped moving.  Or at least, moving on purpose.

"Whoa," breathed Madison.  She started walking, scratch that, attempting to walk, and tripped over her feet.

I giggled.  "What'd you fall over for?"  I walked over to Madison, gripping onto chairs and tables as I went to prevent me from losing my balance.  I reached her and literally fell into a fit of giggles.

"Madison, stop laughing!  You bloody idiot!" I said, laughing at her.

"What the hell, are you guys high or something?" asked Sapphire, Madison's older sister.

"Maybe…" said Madison, giggling.

I had to hold onto my head to keep the room from spinning.  Closing my eyes only made it worse.

"Just so you know, we're high _legally_," I said.

"You guys are like 3 year olds on crack," said Sapphire, shaking her head.  She plopped down into an armchair and watched us lying on the floor, giggling like the idiots we are.

"Shouldn't you be going out right now or something?  Use that privilege of yours and leave the castle!  It's so boring here," said Madison to her sister.

Sapphire shrugged.  "I'm not really in the mood to go out.  Besides, I already ate."

I shook my head at her.  "Sapphire, you've gone daft."

"No, just tired."

"Sapphire, have you visited our dear cousin recently?" asked Madison, suddenly sitting up.

"Who, James?  Why?" asked Sapphire, turning to face us.

Madison shrugged.  "Just wanted to know how the 7th year Gryffindor boys are, that's all."

Sapphire narrowed her eyes at us.  "Do you want to know about anyone in particular?"

"Like who?  Who would we, 6th year Ravenclaw girls, possibly be interested in?" I asked.

"Oh, I don't know," said Sapphire sarcastically.  "James?  Sirius?  Who knows, you might even fancy Remus, even though he's with Lana.  I was a sixth year not too long ago, you know."

"Well, despite what you think of us, we're _not_ interested in any of them," said Madison.

I looked down and examined my ring.  Au contraire, my friend.  Au contraire.

I rose from bed, thinking about the events that are about to unfurl.  The other girls in my dormitory are all asleep already.  Except for Bellatrix, of course.  She's off fucking Adolphus.  And will then probably move on to (insert name here).  That little slut.

I stripped down to my underwear, and then pulled on black robes and my cloak.  I fastened it around me and then checked to make sure that my roommates are still sound asleep as I pull my hair back into a low ponytail.

A faint hiss emitted from an unknown location in the dark as I moved to open the door to the dormitory.

"Ssh, Bello.  I have to take care of some official business.  Make sure that no one realizes that I'm gone," I whisper into the darkness.

I step outside into the dimly lit hallway and shiver in anticipation.

As I walk through the Forest, owls hoot around me, leaves rustle, and I hear twigs snap under the weight of some beast.  Obviously, I am not alone.  I ignore it, however, and let my feet follow a path that they somehow know, leading me to the Dark Lord, to my salvation.  I smile to myself, knowing of the work that I will be doing after my initiation.  Mudbloods will learn to stop strutting around as if they own everything; they'll realize that they're not as smug as they think they are.

After what seemed like 10 minutes of walking, I come to a halt in a clearing in what I presume is the middle of the woods.  There is a merciful opening in the canopy of the trees, allowing one to look up into the night sky with an uninterrupted view.  The moon waxes high and bright.  It will be a full moon tomorrow, and a certain Gryffindor will feel animal lust and hunger.

I extinguished the small light from my wand tip and waited patiently.  Soon, the sound of people Apparating filled the quiet air.  I was surrounded by about 10 Death Eaters, all cloaked and masked.  One of these men stood proud.  He was not masked like the others.  This man has such pale skin, that one would think that he is near death.  His red eyes were placed in his head in the shape of the eyes of a cat.  His long, bony white fingers lovingly stroked the handle of a thin, elegant wand as he put it away.

He slowly and purposefully walked into the center of the circle that the Death Eaters formed and then turned to face me.

My breath caught in my chest.  Even though I had heard of him time and time again, I had never come face to face with him.  I can't even begin to describe the emotions that I feel right now, except for deep reverence and respect.

"My lord," I breathed, bowing before him.

"Eve Blandus, you have shown your loyalty to my movement during these past couple of months, and your reports have caught my attention.  You are an invaluable asset to me, and I would like to acknowledge your presence in this community of believers.  But first, you must prove yourself to me one last time," said Lord Voldemort.

I nodded my head, and immediately a man was thrust forward into the circle.  I coolly looked at the man, neither caring who he was nor what he did.

"Eve, my dear, you are to kill this man.  I understand that you have been taught the Killing Curse.  Kill this man, and you will bear the markings of a Death Eater," said Voldemort.  His eyes studied me, and they flashed when he spoke of the man.

I turned my gaze on the poor, pathetic excuse of a man.  He lay whimpering in the middle of the clearing, begging for mercy and nursing some invisible wound.  "P-please, don't.  you d-don't know w-w-what you're doing.  If you kill me-"

"Shut up," I hissed.  And without a second thought, I raised my wand, and immediately a green light filled the clearing, rendering everyone blind for a couple of seconds.

One of the Death Eater's assessments proved the man dead, and Lord Voldemort smiled evilly.

"Excellent," he purred.  He approached me, his long, slender fingers reached into a pocket in the inner recesses of his robes, and he produced a wand, which had an unexplainable aura about it.  "Lift your sleeve," he ordered.

I tucked my own wand away and did as I was told, watching his wand the entire time.

His icy fingers closed themselves around my left forearm, sending an eerie chill throughout my body.  My Lord took his wand and sliced open my arm, and my blood began to run down my arm in the shape of a skull.  I gasped at the searing pain, but didn't dare to cry out.  I _would not_ show any sign of weakness.  As fast as the wound was inflicted upon me, it was healed.  The only difference was the tattoo of a black skull with a green snake imprinted on my arm.

Lord Voldemort stepped back into the middle of the circle as I inspected my arm.  What caught me unawares was when the entire circle started clapping.  I looked up agape, totally caught off guard.

"Oh," I muttered.  No one's _ever_ clapped for me before.  This is going to be an interesting experience…

Sirius sat at breakfast in the Great Hall only half listening to Peter's rambles about finding a family of rats in some abandoned corridor, staring up at the ceiling and waiting for the post to come in.  The sky reflected the general mood of the crowd—it was a brilliant sapphire blue without a cloud in sight.  He smiled to himself, thinking about how happy and carefree 90% of the people here are.

"Hey, are you okay?  You seem a little out of it," said Emily, putting her hand on Sirius's arm.

"Hm?  Yeah, I'm perfectly fine.  Just, you know, waiting for the post to come," answered Sirius, turning his gaze to Emily.

"Who have you been writing to anyway?" asked Lily, totally unattractively shoving a forkful of banana nut pancakes into her mouth.

Emily winced at Lily's actions.  She looked down at her own plate and slid a slice of cantaloupe over to the other side with her fork.

Sirius shrugged.  "No one, really.  It isn't all that important anyway."

"Bullshit.  That's a lie if I ever heard one," said James, snorting into his goblet.

"Aw, come off it, mate.  Besides, think of it this way—who the hell would I write to?" said Sirius, grinning it off.

At that second, Lexi came running into the Great Hall throwing her messy blonde hair back into a ponytail, with half of it eluding the elastic because of its length.

"Oh my god, I thought I was late for bloody class.  You guys are all complete bitches for letting me sleep on like I did.  Bloody hell…" muttered Lexi, plopping down next to Lily and helping herself to a massive pile of bacon.

Lana shrugged.  "It's your own bloody fault, you bumbling idiot!  You told us that you were going to get up in 5 minutes."

"You know to never leave me alone when I say that!  After 7 bleeding years, one would think that you would know my morning habits by now," said Lexi, viciously tearing off a piece of bacon with her teeth.

James rose his eyebrows to himself.  Poor pig.  Turning in its grave right now…  Or maybe it's turning on a spit on a rotisserie thing.  What I would give for roasted pig right now…

"James, stop drooling.  That's completely unattractive," said Lily, throwing a napkin at James.

"Eh," he grunted.

"Oh, excellent.  Right on time," said Sirius, checking his watch when he heard the screeches and ruffling feathers of the post owls.

He looked up into the mass of brown, white, gray, and black looking for no owl in particular, but trying to see if any one of them was heading in his direction.  He noticed that his friends all around him were getting letters or packages from home.  Remus started gloating when he got sent a package of his mum's famous seven layer cookies.  A fabulous mix of graham crackers, marshmallows, chocolate chips, coconut stuff, some type of nut, and other deliciously redundant ingredients.

When he least expected it, a letter fell into his lap.  He eagerly tore open the envelope and began reading.

                        'Dear Mr. Black,

We are sorry to inform you but the flat that you are trying to purchase on Flatbush Street, London, has been closed on by a couple whose offer was higher than yours.'

Sirius sighed and didn't finish reading the letter.  He stuffed it back into the envelope and idly looked around as he stuffed the envelope into his bag.

On his right, Emily started choking on her juice when she started reading her letter, and immediately got up to leave.

"Guys, I have to go.  I'll see you later," she said.  And without further explanation, she took off for the exit.

"Um, I think I'll go and see what's up.  Prongs, save me a seat in class, will you?" said Sirius.  He gathered up his belongings and took off at a jog so that he wouldn't lose her.

Sirius found her sitting on the front steps of the school, hugging her knees and rocking back and forth.

"Hey, hey, it's ok.  Ssh, it's ok," he said comfortingly, enveloping Emily in an embrace.  "What's wrong?" he asked her tentatively.

Emily just buried her face in his shoulder and held up an envelope with a quivering hand.

Keeping one arm around her, he used his other hand to take the envelope and read the letter inside.

"It's from Aunt Christy's lawyer," Emily whispered, her face still in his shoulder.  "It's a letter that she wrote to me before she died, along with her will."

Sirius was surprised at the gravity of the letter that he held in his hand.  Who in their right fucking minds would ever send this letter to a 17-year-old girl to read over her morning porridge?  Those goddamn fuckers.

"Oh god, I'm so sorry, Emily.  I'm so sorry," said Sirius, stroking Emily's back.  "If you want, we can go over this together later.  We can sort all of this stuff out, okay?"

Emily nodded.

Sirius mentally kicked himself for coming up with such a lame response to something like this.  Obviously Christy's death had a huge impact on Emily.  Jesus.  Sirius cursed the woman for selfishly committing suicide.  He knew that some people might consider suicide as something noble in some circumstances like killing themselves for god, country and religion, but he considered it to be something downright selfish.  By ending your own misery, you make others' misery multiply at least ten fold.

"Come on, let's go back to the Tower.  You should just take it easy for the rest of the day.  I can tell our teachers that you're not feeling well," said Sirius, raising Emily's chin with his fingers.

"Yeah, okay.  I should really go to class though.  I'm being really stupid," said Emily, shaking her head and getting up.

"Bullshit.  I'm taking you back to the Tower and you're staying there.  McGonagall will understand," said Sirius.  He took her bag from her and held the door open.

Emily sighed, knowing that it's useless to argue with Sirius.  "Alright, fine.  But I'm not taking anymore days off.  We've only been at school for like two weeks and I'm already cutting class.  Some student I am, huh?"

"Put it this way: we're two weeks into term, and I've already had four detentions," grinned Sirius.

Emily snorted.  "God, you're hopeless."

A/n: So that's that.  I'm gonna start writing the next chapter tonight.  And since I'm out of school already, I'll have more time to write, so hopefully there'll be more updates coming up.  Anyway, as always, please review, and I hope that you guys like it!  Oh, and check out the stories on my favorite's list.  They're all incredible.  Ciao darlings.

Here's Your Letter

Blink-182

Cut this skin to the bone 

_Fall asleep all alone_

_Hear your voice in the dark_

_Lose myself in your eyes_

_Choke my voice say goodnight as the world falls apart_

_Fuck I can't let this kill me_

_Let go_

_I need some more time to fix this_

_Here's a letter for you_

_But the words get confused and the conversation dies_

_Apologize for this past_

_Talk some shit take it back_

_Are we cursed to this life?_

_Fuck I can't let this kill me_

_Let go_

_I need some more time to fix this problem_

_I need some more time to fix this problem_

_I need some more time to fix this_

_I'm talking to the ceiling_

_My life just lost all meaning_

_Do one thing for me tonight_

_I'm dying in this silence_

_The last star left in heaven_

_Is falling down to Earth_

_And do you still feel the same way_

_Fuck I can't let this kill me_

_Let go_

_I need some more time to fix this problem_

_I need some more time to fix this problem_

_I need some more time to fix this_


	5. Interesting Developments

A/n: 'lo all.  Hope that the last chapter was worth the wait (I actually think that it was a piece of crap, but I did my best at the time…).  Oh, I also want to tell you guys that I made an email account that you guys can access me by.  So like if you have any questions or comments or anything, just email me!  It's on my name page thingy (which I changed), but I'll give it to you anyway.  It's   Anyway, most of you probably came here to read a good Lily and James story, and I promise you that this _is_ one (although it being good is subjected to your opinion), and I'll get to the romance later, I swear.  Right now, I'm just establishing the story for all of you.  And by that I mean that I'm creating characters and their personalities so that this can be a story that you can follow.  So, on that note, this chapter's in Lexi's perspective, and I hope you enjoy.  J

--------------------------------

Chapter Five: Interesting Developments

The first month and a half of school flashed by in a blur of essays, tests, parties, and detentions.  Just last night I finished my sixth essay of the term on some draught for Potions.  Honestly, if I weren't so gung ho on becoming a Healer, I would totally drop this class.  I hate Inficio with such a passion, the biased fucking twit he is.  I wish that I could just slip some fast-acting poison into his goblet one night during dinner and watch him squirm in discomfort…  But no, that wouldn't be acceptable at all, would it?

I looked out the window while I waited for everyone else to get ready for the game.  It's perfect weather for a Quidditch match.  Clear skies and little to no wind.  It struck me odd though to see that the weather's been unusually nice for this time of year.  The middle of October always brings cold and damp weather, but a stroll outside on the grounds today would make you think that you're walking in a gorgeous spring day, until you look at the calendar, which tells you otherwise.  There's been so much weird weather fluctuation recently.

I checked my watch and started jiggling my flip-flopped foot, waiting for everyone else to finish whatever the fuck they're doing.

"Honestly, guys!  It's just a bloody Quidditch match.  You don't need to look like you're about to be knighted by the fucking Queen of England!" I called into the bathroom.

"It's not my fault that it takes forever for my hair to dry," yelled out Lily amidst the sound of her wand-turned-blow-dryer.

"Jesus, you're smart enough to just perform a drying charm on your hair!  You're the one who sits down and decides to write some new spells," I said.

"I'm done, I'm done!  And besides, drying charms don't work as well as using my wand," said Lily, coming out of the bathroom and making a face at the irony of what she just said.

"Ugh, shut up you guys.  It's too early in the morning to be arguing over what way's better to dry your hair," said Emily, flopping back on her bed.  God bless her for being ready too.

"Anyway, why are you so pumped up for the game?" asked Lana, running a brush through her hair.

"Because!" I say, jumping to my feet and bouncing up and down.  "It's the first match of the bloody season!  Why the fuck would you _not_ be excited?"

"Right, you crazy lunatic.  Now stop bouncing.  You remind me of Tigger," said Emily.

"Speaking of sports, how's that darling brother of yours, Lex?" asked Lily.

"Tyler?  He's great.  Man U has him training for defense, and from what I understand from his letters, they're whipping his sorry ass into shape.  He's fucking excited about it, though.  And who can blame him?  If Man U recruited me fresh out of university, I'd piss my fucking pants," I said.

"I miss him.  I haven't spoken to him in forever," said Lily, pouting and leading the way downstairs  (finally!).

"Yeah well, that makes two of us," I said, going two steps at a time.

"Quelle heure est-il?" asked Lily to no one in particular.

Lana looked down at her watch.  "Quarter to," she said.

"Fuck!  Come on, no time for breakfast.  And Lily, stop speaking in French," I said.

Emily groaned.  "But I'm so hungry," she whined.

"That's your fault, love.  You should've eaten more last night," I said.  "God, I'm horny."

Lana snorted.  "How did we go from food to you being horny?"

I shrugged.  "I don't understand my way of thinking, Miss Happily-Sexed.  Not everyone's lucky enough to have a boyfriend, you know."

Lana blushed.  "Shut up," she said tiredly.

We walked down the front steps of the school and followed the masses of students heading towards the Quidditch pitch, eagerly anticipating the Gryffindor vs. Hufflepuff match.  From what I understand, James has been relentlessly scheduling practices, training hard and playing hard.

Lily sighed and I gave her a questioning glance.

She shook her head and muttered something in French under her breath.

"Lil, what's up?" Emily asked.  It's common knowledge within the Gryffindor 7th years that Lily has a tendency to start speaking in French whenever something's bothering her or she's stressed out.  It's bloody annoying too, since none of us are fluent in French, except Remus, so most of the time we can't understand what she's saying.

"Pas des choses," she said.  "Just wondering how I'm supposed to balance my shitloads of homework, planning this Christmas party, and keeping up with my Head Girl crap while having a life too."

I winced when the sound of the cheers from the entire student body, faculty, and random Hogsmeaders reached my ears as we stepped onto the pitch.

"You'll be perfectly fine," said Lana reassuringly.  "You've been able to manage tons of stuff at once before, and you've never come out on the wrong side of things.  Right now, what we need to worry about is getting good seats for all four of us."

"If we had left on bloody time we would've had fabulous seats," I said impatiently.

"Oh, look!  There's Sirius," said Emily, pointing up at the crowd.

He energetically waved at us and motioned for us to come up and join him.  Remus was nearby having a heated discussion with Peter.

"Hey boys," I said, edging my way across the row to the end of the box where the guys of Gryffindor were sitting, giving each of them a kiss on the cheek.  "Long time no see."

"If by a long time you mean last night, then sure," shrugged Sirius.

"Beautiful day out.  Not a cloud in the sky," said Remus, staring up at the endless blue plane.

I looked over at Remus, who was standing with his arm around Lana's waist.  I felt a pang of jealousy at Lana's unbelievable luck.  Her boyfriend is the sweetest, most understanding person I know, not to mention incredibly delicious to look at.  The way his hair falls into his eyes and the smile on his face when he's with Lana is just so cute.

I sighed and turned away from the perfect specimen of a man.  God, I'm horny.

Apparently Sirius had been watching Remus and Lana too, because he sighed as well.  "God, I need a good fuck," he said.

I turned to him and raised my eyebrows.  "Excuse me?" I asked, a grin playing on my lips.

Luckily for him, Aaron Press, the 6th year Hufflepuff Quidditch announcer began to welcome the crowd to the game.

"Welcome to Hogwarts' first Quidditch match of the season!  It's a fine, October day, with perfect Quidditch conditions.  Now, here comes the Gryffindor team!" shouted Press over the roar of the crowd.

"Potter!  Elliot!  Elliot!  Stein!  Monet!  Cook!  And the Gryffindor Keeper, Stalwart!"

Each player shot out of the locker rooms, a crimson blur shooting up towards the bright sapphire sky.

"Woo!  Go James!  That's my boy!" whooped Sirius.

I laughed and started cheering at the top of my lungs.

"And here's your Hufflepuff team!  Christensen!  Dixon!  Murray!  Roman!  Pelham!  Barrett!  And the Hufflepuff Seeker, Womack!"

The Hufflepuff side of the stadium erupted with cheers as seven gold figures zoomed onto the pitch.

"All fourteen players are in formation around Madam Hooch.  Captains Potter and Christensen, Gryffindor's Seeker and Hufflepuff's Beater, shake hands.  Madam Hooch blows the whistle, and they take off!" yelled Press excitedly.

The entire stadium grew increasingly louder as all players darted up into the air.

"The Bludgers are released, followed by the Golden Snitch," said Press.

The crowd watched as the Snitch flew spastically around James and the Hufflepuff Seeker, a 5th year named Angela Womack.  Both Seekers glimpsed the Snitch for a split second before it zoomed off to be recaptured.

"The Quaffle is released, and Gryffindor instantly takes possession!  Jane Elliot flies towards the Hufflepuff hoops, and passes the Quaffle to her twin brother, Daniel.  He tosses it to Jett Stein, who makes to score!  Ouch, never mind!  Stein was just hit in the back with a well placed Bludger, courtesy of Hufflepuff's Adam Pelham," said Press.

The Gryffindors groaned at the play, booing and jeering at Pelham, while the Hufflepuffs were screaming wildly.

"Hufflepuff has possession, with Francesca Dixon heading towards Gryffindor's hoops.  She passes it to Hayden Murray, whoa, where did _he_ come from?  He shoots!  Oh, nice try, Murray.  Spectacular save by Gryffindor's Keeper, Serena Stalwart, who happens to look quite dashing today," Press cleared his throat and continued with the game.

"Hufflepuff Keeper, Maggie Barrett just took a Bludger in stomach.  Ouch, that didn't look so good.  But wait!  Gryffindor's Chasers, Jane and Daniel just got possession of the Quaffle.  They pass it between them, and oh, Elliot, Daniel, that is, drops the Quaffle.  Ooh, clever play there!  Stein catches the Quaffle from down below and aims for the goal posts, he shoots, AND HE SCORES!  GRYFFINDOR SCORES, 10-0!" screamed Press, although a little dejectedly since his House just lost a goal.

The Gryffindor side erupted at once with cheers and screams.

"Hey, Emily, are you okay?" asked Lana, looking over.

I leaned over Sirius to get a glimpse of her.  She's really pale and looking faint, gripping the sides of her chair a little too tightly.

"Yeah, I'm fine.  Just a little hungry," she said.

"Jesus, Em.  You look like you're about to pass out," said Sirius.

"Gee, thanks," said Emily sarcastically.

"Lucky for you," Sirius continued, ignoring her, "I happen to always have food with me.  I mean, you never know when you'll be struck with the urge for a Cauldron Cake or a Chocolate Frog."  With a dreamy look on his face, he fished something out of his pocket and handed it to Emily.

"Sirius, you're a god," she said, as she hastily shoved it into her mouth.  "I'm famished."

Three hours after the game started, the sun began to get incredibly hot, and still, the game went on.  I peeled off my shirt and fanned my face.  Thank god I'm wearing a tank top underneath.  And a skirt, for that matter.

"What time is it?" asked Lily, wiping her sunglasses off on her shirt.

"It's a little after 2," said Remus.

"Fuck me, why is it so bloody hot?" complained Sirius.  "You know, I might even go so far as to say that James is taking his bloody time in finding the fucking Snitch.  He's never played a game that's lasted this long."

"What makes you say that?" asked Emily, glancing at the scoreboard.  It was 240-220 Gryffindor.

"Just watch the way that James is flying.  He doesn't need all of those excess loops and barrel rolls and all of that acrobatic shit that he's doing.  It's all to impress a certain someone," said Sirius, just loud enough for Emily and I to hear.

Emily and I exchanged a glance and she rose her eyebrows.

"Oh my god!  Look, I think James saw the Snitch," yelled Lily, pointing up at the sky.

A little speck against the blazing blue, James, I guess, began to pelt down toward the ground, head first.

"It seems like Potter saw the Snitch!  If he catches it, Gryffindor will win the match, 390-220, Gryffindor!" yelled Press.

The crowd watched with bated breath as James, and now Womack too, hurled their bodies and urged their brooms faster towards the Snitch.

Angela was coming at it from and angle, but James was flying straight down to the ground.  I could tell that it would take amazing ass and thigh muscles to hold onto the broomstick while going at that speed, perpendicular to the ground.  I wonder what James looks like naked…

"YES!  FUCK YEAH!" roared Sirius in my ear, bringing me out of my daydream.

"Huh?  What?" I spluttered.

"JAMES POTTER CATCHES THE SNITCH AND WINS THE GAME FOR GRYFFINDOR!  GRYFFINDOR WINS 390-230!" screamed Press.

Oh, cool.  I guess Hufflepuff must've scored once more before James caught the Snitch.

The crowd started moving towards the exits of the pitch, pushing and shoving to get out of the open air and towards the shade that the castle promised.

"So I guess we're gonna hang out here until the madness dies down, huh?" said Peter, settling back into his seat.

"Yup," I said.  I put my shirt over my face to avoid burning.  All we do now is wait until the party starts.

Sirius stood up on a table when someone stopped the music for him.  He wavered a little on his perch, clutching his drink with one hand and silencing the crowd with the other.  It was rather late in the party and Sirius was more than a little trashed.

"Everyone!  Hellooo!  Yes, I love you too.  You're beautiful," he said, to some random girl who shouted at him.  "Anyway, I would like to take this moment to pay tribute to the seven most fantastic and important people that belong in this bloody family that we call Gryffindor!"

The room started cheering and whooping, and Sirius held his hands up, asking for silence.

"First, I would like to congratulate my best mate in the world, James Potter.  He may be a prat sometimes, but he's one of the best people that I know.  Always there for you when you need him," said Sirius, clapping his hand on James's back, giving Lily a pointed look.

Emily and I giggled together.  "Can he be any more obvious?" she whispered, her eyes glittering with happiness and the effects of whatever it was she was drinking—looks like cranberry juice 'watered down' with Ketel One.

"I'd also like to congratulate the rest of the team!  Jane and Daniel for being the freaky twins that you are, Jett for scoring half of Gryffindor's goals, even though you're only a bloody 5th year (good luck with those O.W.L.s), you talented little fucker," here, he paused to wait for the cheers to die down, "Kirsten and Colette for beating the shit out of those Bludgers to cause some major damage to those Hufflepuffs.  You fucking sent Dixon to the Hospital Wing.  Remind me to never get into a fight with you guys.  If you can punch as hard as you can hit those Bludgers…  Damn," said Sirius.

Colette and Kirsten laughed.  "Just wait and see, Black.  Wait and see," yelled out Colette.

"And finally, Serena.  If it weren't for you, Hufflepuff would've scored five hundred times, and we would've been dead.  You're a goddess.  You're a goddess," said Sirius, saying the last part to himself.  He jumped off of the table and the music started pumping again.

"Oh shit," said Emily, moving to hide behind me.

"What's up?"

"Look who just walked into the common room," she said, hiding her face.  "Oh god, why the fuck is _he_ here?"

I craned my neck to see over people's heads to get a glimpse of who just passed through the portrait hole.  Surprised, I found William Corley weaving through the crowd to get to us.

"Em, I think that it's too late to be hiding.  He already saw you," I said.

"Fuck me _now_," she moaned.

Within seconds, Will was standing in front of us.

"Hey Emily," he said, smiling at her.  "Lexi," he said, nodding at me.  "Do you mind if I steal Emily for a bit?" he asked.

"No, not at all," I said, pushing her forward.  "He looks rather dashing," I whispered into her ear as Will pulled her into the crowd of dancing people.  He's wearing faded jeans and a light blue button down, accenting his fantastic gray-blue eyes.  Emily gave me one last look that clearly said, 'Help me!' before she was lost in the crowd.

Left alone, I headed for the drink table to pick up another cup of Stoli.

"What's a beautiful girl like you doing alone at this party?" said a voice in my ear.

I froze, knowing that voice like the back of my hand.  I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and turned around, despite the sudden tingling that had spread throughout my entire body.  "Hey!  What are you doing here?" I asked.

Andrew Reed, a 7th year Ravenclaw was standing behind me with a smirk on his face.

"What, you're not happy to see me?" he asked, kissing my cheek.

I rolled my eyes.  "What the fuck are you talking about?  You're the one who's been hiding from me since we got back to school!  Where the fuck have you been, Reed?" I asked, grinning.

He shrugged.  "I've been keeping busy.  You know, classes, homework, Quidditch and all that."

"Yeah I know, tell me about it.  How long have you been here?  You know, at the party?"

"I don't know.  Maybe about twenty minutes?  I couldn't find you for a bit."

I smiled.  "Well, here I am."

"Here you are," he said softly.  "Listen, can we talk anywhere?  You know, where we don't have to scream at each other to be heard?"

"Yeah, yeah, of course.  Come on.  Let's go upstairs," I said.  I took his hand and led him towards the staircase to the girls' dormitories.

I shook my head and smiled to myself.  Andrew and I had always been good friends.  We'd never actually been officially together, but we always have a date here and there.  I guess you can say that we're friends with benefits.  I mean, we've never had sex or anything, but the occasional hook up is always inevitable.  We've been through a lot of stuff together.  Like, last year when my hair was still long, he was always there to hold it back for me whenever he needed to, if you know what I mean.  We have that kind of dependency and closeness.

We took a little detour to avoid that nasty little charm on the girls' staircase, but eventually made it up to my dorm.  I went over to the windows and opened one to let some air in.

"Come here.  Sit, stay a while," I said, patting the window seat opposite mine.

"So how've you been?" asked Andrew, sitting down and leaning his head against the wall.

I shrugged.  "Okay, I guess.  Dealing with the usual, you know?"

Andrew nodded, and we sat quietly for a while.

I settled back in my seat and then turned to look out the window.  The grounds were cast with the silhouettes of people against the light coming from Gryffindor Tower, but the lake and forest were quiet and still.

A sudden shift of weight in the futon that we're sitting on caught my attention and I looked up to see Andrew sitting much closer to me.

"I've missed you, Lex," he said softly, putting his hand on my knee.  "I really miss talking to you.  You've always known me better than any other girl I know."

He leaned forward and soon his face was inches away from mine.  I put my cup down, closed my eyes, and leaned in to Andrew's kiss.

I woke up with a jolt and blinked at the bright Sunday morning sun spilling into the dormitory from the window.

"Good morning," said Andrew from behind me.

I rolled over and smiled.  "Morning to you too," I said.

He leaned over and kissed me.

I sighed.  "This is a great way to wake up in the morning.  Except for my bloody hangover.  _Fuck_."  I groaned and pressed my palms against my head.

Andrew laughed.  "You've always been a party girl, Lex.  Anyway, I should probably go before anyone wakes up," he said, reaching for his shirt and putting it on.

I got up and propped myself up on my elbow, watching him put his shoes on.  "What time is it?"

"Almost 9.45.  Alright, I have to go now," said Andrew, standing up.

"I'll walk you out," I said.  I got up and put a sweatshirt on over my tank top and followed him to the door and down the stairs.  The trick about these stairs is getting up them, if you're a guy.  Going down them isn't a problem at all.

"Ugh, this is gross," I said, when we reached the bottom of the stairs.  The common room was strewn with empty bottles and cups, with crumbs and crushed food all over the floor.  Some chairs were turned over, but other than that, the common room was unharmed.

"Don't you think the house elves would've come during the night?" asked Andrew.

"Nah.  They usually wait until the party's completely over before they come.  They'll probably be here in a couple of minutes," I said.

"Okay, well, I'll talk to you later," said Andrew, when we got to the portrait hole.

"Yeah.  It was good to see you again," I said, wrapping my arms around his neck.

We shared one last kiss before he left, and then I went back into the common room.  Sure enough, several house elves were already tending to the cleaning of the room, zapping away garbage with their elvish magic.

I trudged back upstairs to the dorm and found Lily sitting in her bed, propped up against her pillows.

I flopped on my bed and without looking at her, I said, "What?"

"You had _sex_ last night, didn't you?" she asked slyly, as if we were back in our 15 year old bodies.  I could tell from the sound of her voice that she was grinning from ear to ear.

I rolled my eyes and got up to climb into her bed.  "Nah.  We just hung out and slept in my bed.  Nothing naughty at all."

Lil gave me a look that said, 'come on, you know something went down last night.'

"What?  I'm serious!"

Lily snorted.  "Alright.  If nothing happened, then I didn't drink last night."

"Okay, fine.  We messed around a bit, but no sex!  I promise," I relented.

"That's what I thought, you _naughty_ girl," said Lily smugly.

"Alright, well, I'm gonna take a shower," I said, rolling my eyes and getting up.

I went into the bathroom and found that someone else was in the shower.  Damn.  I thought that everyone else was still asleep.  The curtains around both Lana and Emily's beds are still drawn, so who the hell could be in the shower?

Apparently, whoever's in there didn't hear me come in, so they turned off the tap and slid open the shower door.

And there stood Remus Lupin, dripping wet in all his glory.

"Ah, fucking hell!  Remus, what the fuck are you doing?" I yelled, averting my eyes.

"Shit.  Sorry.  Wow, this is embarrassing," said Remus, grabbing a towel.

"Ah.  Sorry.  I just thought…  I was gonna… Never mind," I spluttered and ran out of the bathroom.

"Aaaah!" I yelled and jumped into Lily's bed, burying my face in her shoulder.

Lily quizzically rose an eyebrow at me.

"I just saw Remus stark naked in the shower," I said, pointing towards the door.

I propped myself up against Lily's pillows, drew my knees up to my chest and her blankets up to my nose, so that only my eyes are visible.

Remus came out of the bathroom a couple of minutes later, thankfully fully dressed.

"Hey Dreamy Remy," grinned Lily.  "Had a nice shower?"

Remus laughed.  "Yeah…  Sorry about that, Lex," he said, and climbed back into Lana's bed, where the curtains are still drawn.

Lil and I stayed silent, but at the same exact time we turned and gave each other a look.  As a unit, we both got out of bed and bounded over to Lana's bed and wrenched open the curtains.

"Rise and shine, girly!  It's a new day, and you're still in bed!" said Lily, jumping up and down.

"I'm already awake, you stupid dolt," said Lana sleepily, rubbing her eyes.

Remus was sitting against Lana's headboard, grinning like an idiot.

"Is Em awake yet?" she asked.

"Mmhm," said Emily, coming out of her own bed and padding over to the bathroom.

"Alright, I'm going to leave you girls to your own devices.  _I _will see _you_ later," said Remus.  He kissed Lana and then left the room with a quick little wave.

In contrast to the warm day that we had yesterday, we all had to bundle ourselves up with jumpers and scarves.  The sky's gray and stormy looking, and the winds are fucking treacherous.  Lana, Lily, Emily and I sat in a circle outside under a massive oak tree, having a picnic as we discussed what happened to us the night before, a tradition that we've upheld since 3rd year when Lily got her first kiss.  From then on, we've always had a picnic outside (no matter what the weather was like) after every Gryffindor Quidditch win party.

"Well, we all know that Lana had a nice little roll in the sack last night with her boy toy, so what happened to everyone else?"  asked Lily.  "Lex, darling, care to start?  We had _two_ male visitors last night."

"Oooh," teased Emily.  She made kissing sounds and I threw a piece of my sandwich at her.

"Shut up," I said, smiling.  "Anyway, after you," I pointed at Em with my sandwich, "ditched me last night for whatshisface, William, Andrew popped out of nowhere," I said.

"Andrew Reed?" asked Lana.

"The one and only.  Anyway, he asked if we could talk anywhere, you know, a place where we could actually hear each other, so I was like yeah, no problem, and took him upstairs."

"And you only _talked_, eh?" asked Emily.

"No, I didn't say that.  We also snogged.  A bit.  Or all night," I said, grinning.

"When are you guys finally just gonna make it official?" asked Lily.

I shrugged.  "I dunno.  Maybe never.  Both of us aren't really into serious relationships right now.  And to be honest, I don't really want to tie myself down with Andrew.  I mean, yeah, he's hot and sweet, but I just can't picture myself with him later on, you know?  Anyway, Emily, what did dear William want?"

"Nothing really.  He just apologized for having Adam there during our supposed study date.  He said that he didn't really want him there, but he couldn't flat out tell Adam to leave.  I guess that it was just a manners type of thing.  So anyway, he was just there to apologize," said Emily.

Lily snorted.  "Come on.  A guy wouldn't come all the way over to Gryffindor Tower, in the middle of a victory party against his own house, no less, to apologize.  He had some other reason"

Emily nodded.  "Okay, fine.  Anyway, you're right.  He _was_ there last night for another reason."

"And?" I prodded, when Emily paused to take a humongous bite out of her sandwich.

She held up a finger while she chewed and swallowed.

"Spit it out, Em!" said Lana.

"He asked me out on another date," grinned Emily.

"You're kidding!  When?" squealed Lily, bits of cheese flying out of her mouth and landing in Lana's tea.

"Eeew," screamed Lana.  "Lil, that's fucking disgusting!"

"Sorry," she said sheepishly.

"Anyway," said Emily, bringing the conversation back to her, "he said next Saturday.  He didn't say what we're gonna do, though.  But it's gonna be during the day, so I'm kinda skeptical of it all," said Emily.

A sudden gust of wind caused us all to stop what we were doing to adjust our clothing, flipping up collars against the wind or, in my case, re-wrapping my scarf and reveling in its warmth and softness.

"Fuck," said Lana.  "What happened to the bloody sun?"

"It's hiding from you, I dunno," said Lily.

"Hey, what happened to _you_ last night, Lil?" asked Emily.

"To be honest," said Lily blushing, "I don't really remember."

"Aw, come on!  How can you have gotten that pissed last night?" I asked.

Lily shrugged.  "I just did."

"And how were you a ray of bloody sunshine this morning?  When you wrenched my curtains open earlier, which could have been a _very_ bad move for your sake, there was no trace of a killer hangover.  None whatsoever," said Lana.

"Just took a couple of gulps of our hangover potion, and that monster went bye-bye," said Lily smoothly.

Emily snorted.  "You're crazy, you know that?"

"Well girls, me and my craziness has to go.  I'm due for a manicure in London in twenty minutes," said Lily, standing up.

I looked down at my nails, still nicely polished and not chipped (how they stayed intact is a huge mystery to me) from last week's appointment.  "Alright, darling.  See you later."

"See you guys in an hour," said Lily.  She took her wand out and magicked away the food leftover from our lunch.

"Bye!" called out Emily and Lana.

We watched Lily head towards the Hogwarts gates and then looked at each other.

"So who says we go back into the castle and get some hot chocolate?" I ask.

After dinner, I went back up to the dorm for some alone time.  After that night with Andrew…  I don't know.  It really made me want to put some thought into things.  I could sort of sense that he wanted to make something more out of our 'relationship' if you would call it that, but…  Like I said earlier, I'm not really ready for a relationship.  Or at least, I'm not really ready for one with Andrew.

Am I?

I mean, contrary to what I said earlier, I _can_ see myself with Andrew.  But I really don't want to ruin what we have going on right now.  For instance, whenever we're together, it's just always so comfortable.  Like, we're not really expecting each other to do or say anything.  Or if we're not in a comfortable silence, we just talk about anything and everything.

Ugh, I don't know.  Whatever.  I'll talk to Lily and maybe she can sort out this bloody mess.  After all, she knows me better than I do.  Or maybe I won't.  God.  I need to get out of this room and stop thinking.

A/n: Okay, I know that this chapter's really long, but I didn't know what else to cut.  I really ramble too much.  That last bit is just a dip into Lexi's thoughts.  I thought of it as one of Carrie's monologues in the beginning or end of an episode of Sex and the City.  Oh, I just thought of one other thing that I should bring to your attention.  If you haven't noticed already, I bumped the rating down from R to PG-13.  I originally had it as an R story, mostly because of the cursing, some situations, and the goriness that I plan for later on.  But, the gore won't come until _much _later in the story, so I'll just bump it up when I need to.  Anyway, I'm leaving on vacation next week and I won't be back (for a decent amount of writing time, anyway) until like the middle of August, but then my family and I are going to take my sister back to college.  So basically, this is the last chapter that I'll be able to post until like the end of August/beginning of September.  I'm gonna start writing today and I already know what perspective I'm gonna do it in, so I think that I'll be able to update before school starts again.  So, please review and let me know that you're out there.  See you later!  Oh and by the way, I updated within a month of the last one!  How good is that?

Time Stands Still

The All-American Rejects

Him and her 

_Life is turned_

_The day I knew you would leave_

_I could barely breath_

_Can you hear me scream?_

_O-o-o thrown in all directions_

_You epitome of perfection_

_She's lost her will,_

_Time is standing still_

_He walks her home_

_Now he walks alone_

_The days they turn into years_

_The eyes they drown in tears_

_Can you hear me scream?_

_O-o-o thrown in all directions_

_You epitome of perfection_

_She's lost her will,_

_Time is standing still_

_The way we are the way we were (It's just a shadow of what's wrong)_

_The time with you the time is stirred (I love you for so long)_

_The hearts they turn, they turn away (She says to go please don't you cry)_

_Love lost was found, night turns to day_

_O-o-o thrown in all directions_

_You epitome of perfection_

_She's lost her will,_

_Time is standing still_

_O-o-o thrown in all directions_

_You epitome of perfection_

_She's lost her will,_

_Time is standing still_

_Time is standing still_


End file.
